Category Archives: Grandma

Where she connects to my world

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More from last night

Being in the hospital is definitely affecting Gma’s mind (and her state-of-mind), and we’d all like to bring her home, but it would require Ruth (Ewig) and me ramping up our level of commitment to Mom’s scale. My being with her all of every morning, Ruth all of every afternoon, and Mom continuing to pull the remaining shift. Seven days a week.

We could do that for a while, but I’m not sure how long. I was gone two mornings this week and am still trying to recover my house after working on it all day yesterday.

I’m more concerned though about the kids; they have been getting a little edgy (maybe it’s all in my head, maybe not), and I attribute that to a markedly decreased amount of mom-time.

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Mom told the nurses she wanted to check Gma out for the weekend, and said they laughed at her. That’s just not done in the hospital, apparently.

She can check Gma out anytime she wants, of course, but to do it she has to sign these waivers acknowledging it’s against medical advice and saying it’s on her (Mom’s) head if Gma dies while out of the hospital. Talk about pressure.

The reason this is even an issue (why take her home), other than Gma’s state-of-mind, is that the Dr.s really don’t know how to fix her, so other than having the medical personnel/extra bodies available the hospital isn’t providing stuff she can’t get at home.

But in real-world living those extra bodies count for a lot when things get intense. It’s a very tough decision, so please be praying for wisdom.

And Dr. Carroll’s supposed to know more about the fluid in her abdomen today. I’ll post about that when I know more.

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Keep praying

The biggest concern right now is that Gma’s body is not absorbing the extra fluid in her abdomen.

For the last week, ever since the surgery–so more than a week– Gma has had a “drain” in her, to siphon off the fluid/blood that collected in her abdomen after the operation. They took it out Wednesday (Oh she hollered!), b/c the dr. was conserved it had been in to long.

“Any pathway out of the body is also a pathway into the body.” He were conserned about possible infection.

But her body has not been reabsorbing those fluids, and now the heavy question is whether to operate again. Doctor Carroll (Dr. B of the previous) really doesn’t want to go back in, but mom’s concerned that that may be the only option.

Pray for Mom too. She hasn’t slept in her own bed since I can’t remember when. She is stretched in every way right now. I would say “wrung-out” (Picture a washcloth). I feel the stress, and I’m not there nearly as much as she.

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Now we really don’t know what’s going on.

One of the Doctors diagnosed something called ITP as the reason for Gma’s low blood-count. The treatment is steroids. As I understand it, they give your system a kick in the pants and try to re-start/reset the body’s levels.

Well, she’s been undergoing that treatment (diagnosed/prescribed by Dr. A) for days, and it’s had no effect. Or not enough. Dr. B spoke to Mom today, and gave her several reasons why he doesn’t think it is ITP, and Mom’s leaning toward his explanation.

So they no longer think it’s ITP, but they don’t know what is going on. Gma’s pretty active for her condition, but still much more tired than “herself.” Until there’s more blood to carry Oxygen and nutrients where they’re supposed to go, I don’t see her “normalizing” much more. That’s what she needs to go home.

So the current prayers are for either Gma’s complete healing (straight from the hand of God) or for the doctors to have the necessary insight to diagnose and treat whatever is really wrong. And for it to be soon, so we can get out of the hospital.

That one’s mine.

I’ve been limited in the amount of time I can spend with her b/c there’s nothing (safe) for two toddlers to do at the hospital while I’m with her, so I always need to find someone else to watch them before I can go.

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The latest on Gma

Lets see, it’s been a week since I posted here. The list version:

  • Gma had to undergo physical therapy to get walking again, but with hard work and a strong will, she has made great progress. She is now mobile with a walker, and as she continues to grow stronger the walker is expected to be gone as well.
  • The test for Leukemia (a suspected reason for her low blood-count) came back negative (PTL!).
  • In nearly every way (PT, respiratory, post-op) she has been cleared as ready to go home.

The thing keeping her in hospital at this point is the persistently low blood count.

On Sunday the doctor called her “The Miracle of the week.” She was active, lucid, upbeat, and her platelet count (object of the latest treatment) had stopped dropping. Mom hoped this meant we were “at the corner” where Gma would turn and begin improving here too.

It hasn’t been happening that way.

When I went in Monday morning her platelets had dropped again. She had had a rough night; not sleeping well or long together and so started her day still tired. Today, Tuesday, she has a temp of 100.6, platelets are down and the Doc’s ramping up the treatment (increasing the concentration and giving it by IV) hoping that will bring back the improvement we saw earlier.

Oh, and Nana’s arriving tomorrow morning for a two-week stay, and we/I still don’t know where she’ll be staying. She was going to be at Gma’s house, but with this craziness and perpetually expecting her home “soon” Mom and Dad (I agree) felt having extra people around continually during reentry would be hard for her.

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Priorities

(I’m pre-timing to keep Gma’s latest at the top)

Toastmasters came up again this weekend, since it comes up every week. We, Jay and I, have been doing a jugging act with responsibilities. We’ve definitely come up with a current hierarchy of priorities:

  1. Our (core) family of five
  2. Next level of family: Gma Mom and Dad
  3. Everything else

TM definitely falls into the realm of “everything else,” and Jay (and I) could both come up with some pretty convincing reasons to dump it. The interesting thing was that when I prayed about it Sunday and Monday (about the only days TM enters my consciousness during the week), I didn’t feel like I’m supposed to totally drop it. So I went. An hour doing something absolutely separate from the rest of my world (except for EP). It was refreshing in a weird way. I was pretty scattered, but that’s understandable.

When I get babysitting time– from Jay or anybody else– it’s been to go up to the hospital to visit Gma and/or spell mom. It’s continually running, with no stolen “nap-time” moments like I had when I was “continually running” with a new baby. It feels surreal.

Yesterday was the first time Gma’s slept while I was with her. She was exhausted. I think she works harder than she should on her PT, trying to get strong enough to go home. Only, the PTist has said she’s strong enough to go home, so it’s not that issue keeping her in.

It was nice to just sit still and read for an hour (Judy kept the girls that morning) while Gma and Elisha both slept. It was sad too though, feeling stuff back in limbo instead of on a clear “improvement” track.

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The way isn’t clear.

I’ve decided that’s what the “we’re not out of the woods yet” phrase means.

And that’s the phrase Mom has applied to Gma’s current condition. Tests continue to report a low blood count, and that is troubling to the doctors, since that should have improved by now.

They will be doing a bone-marrow test/check (whatever the appropriate name is) sometime today, and the results should be available tomorrow.

When I asked, Mom said the doctor or whoever decided against moving her to the “surgical observation floor” (I think it is called) as planned, since there’s no push for ICU rooms. This keeps Gma under more consistent (or at least more frequent) observation.

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Good News

I will skip over the longer story (summarized by saying that Grandma went into surgery Saturday night, then had to be kept asleep and on a ventilator all of Sunday while they waited for her lungs to show they could do their job alone).

She is now awake, and off the ventilator (doing her own breathing). The things that were initially of concern: first the internal bleeding, then the low blood pressure and need for a ventilator, and wondering a long time how she would respond to the anesthetic; all have come to their proper (healthy) conclusion.

Nurses predict Gma will be out of ICU and into a regular hospital room by tomorrow. The concern at this point is her perennially weak lungs– preventing pneumonia, which she has been susceptible to, but doesn’t have right now.

God has again shown us his great faithfulness.

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I am such a *writer*

(Also posted at Untangling Tales)
Do you ever find (if you’re not a swear-er, especially) that certain words escape as if you were swearing?
My 87-year-old grandmother has been in the hospital via the emergency room since late Friday night. I spent most of Saturday at her bedside, keeping her company while folks tried to figure out how to “fix” her (she’d been ailing since Sunday, and it finally came to a head).The whole time I was juggling my Mama (10-week-old Elisha was with me) and Granddaughter hats, my mind, against all my attempts to ration my frazzled resources, continued to frame how best to put the experience into words.
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Where else could I go?

We’ve been dealing with something of a family crisis lately, my grandmother’s suddenly declining health.

I visited with her Wednesday morning, and went back for much of Thursday (until my mom could get home. The kids were remarkably cooperative (other than Natasha simply not napping).

Grandma said more than once “Oh I am so glad you were here Amy.” And then the next morning (Friday) Mom called to reiterate the same thing. “When you have so much of your own to do at home,” they said.

It really is nice to be thanked, and I think I’ve said before I thrive on that. But what I find odd is the method of presentation (if that’s it?) implies I looked at the situation, weighed what needed to be done, and decided to go with Gma, either in spite of my own projects and/or deeming her more important.

The reality is that I didn’t do any weighing I all. I just showed up. My first (internal) response to the thanks (every time) was the question, “Where else could I go?” There was an obvious need, one I could fill (one I felt privileged to fill) so I did.

I am on-call to my children everyday, and being on-call for my grandma, getting to interact with her, enjoy her in a grown-up way I can’t yet with my children… I’m glad it gets to be me.

There are others (in her congregation for example) who I’m sure would step-forward to help, but I want it to be me. While I can do it. I like the way she lets me into her mind when I’m with her. I like getting to know and understand her better. I don’t like giving that up.