Jay is so kind to me.

I’m noticeably improved today (less tired, less coughing) and he is still staying home to manage things and let me rest.

It really is the sensible thing to do– not to quit too soon– and I’m thankful Jay has the flexibility at work to be able to choose that for us.

Never get sick with something you can’t spell.


There. Got it right. I had a test and correction when Jay e-mailed work this morning to tell them he was staying home with me to take care of the children.

I was at 1st Care yesterday for about 3 hours (most of it waiting) that culminated in an x-ray and being called into the back room again to say yup I have pneumonia in the middle of my left lung (I think it was).

Doctor said that was why I’ve been feeling so tired lately. I asked how one distinguishes that from the general tiredness of motherhood, and she didn’t really have an answer.

But it was very nice to have a “note” from my doctor telling Jay to stay home a couple days to take care of the family and allow me to rest. I told him he’s not allowed to get sick this time– that I ought to be able to be the only one sick once in our marriage. (Okay, I didn’t put it quite that way.)

Talking with someone else I heard something that made the tiredness make more sense– the pneumonia makes the lungs less-efficient, so I’m getting less oxygen than usual, and that contributes. I’d always just thought it was plain being sick.

So I got a nice nap this morning after breakfast– Jay took the kids to the school park.

Natasha told me how much the pink and orange dinosaur liked playing on the slide (I didn’t know the thing had left the house. Funny how much they love it…).

While I was reading nap-time stories to the girls Jay came in with his pleased look and said his “1-2-3 of park, pizza, and popcorn” had worked, knocking out the boy for his nap too.

After nap Jay will be taking the kids out to Derek’s because Uncle D e-mailed this morning asking if his favorite nieces could come out and visit. Jay said he hadn’t told Derek he was home with the kids, so I pointed out this was God’s answer to our prayers for something to do (Jay was frustrated first thing this morning, finding it hard to find something all three kids can do).

So in a minute I’ll be done with my lunch and lay down again, too.

I’m on an antibiotic, so I guess I’m praying too that the pneumonia is a bacterial infection and responds to the treatment. Apparently it could be viral too– then who knows how long this would drag out…

You’d Think We’d Know By Now

And in our own defense, when we’re not sleep-deprived we do remember.

We were at a wedding reception tonight where the main course was pulled-pork. We put the sandwiches together ourselves at a buffet-style table where there was also coleslaw to put on top of the meat. All this was very new to me.

Really, I was doing my best not to feel too self-conscious building three sandwiches on two plates, and not hold-up the line too much.

I reconvened with Jay and the kids and almost at once he had to get up for a new sandwich because the coleslaw had raw carrots in it. I know he’s allergic to those, but there was his sandwich.

After Jay’s run back through the line, he returned with a handful a cherry chocolate kisses and unwrapped one. “Here’s dessert,” he said, starting to put it in my mouth. I managed to drop it before it touched my tongue and hastily reminded an annoyed-looking Jay that I can’t stand the cherry flavor used in candies.

He let it go that easily, and said, “You’d think I’d remember by now.” I pointed out that I’d just made the mistake with he carrots, so it wasn’t like he was alone.

And that is why I call weariness as our defense. We’re really zonked right now, and it really explains everything.

Gotta love what they take away…

We read the story of Adam and Eve last week from the girls’ bible.

I read the part about Eve’s creation and reminded the girls what ribs are (Natasha’s favorite book for a while was the Eyewitness Skeleton book, so that pleased her).

Incidentally, I loved that, since I don’t see any reason to encourage the idea (perpetuated by the Halloween marketers) that skeletons are something to be afraid of. I think they are marvelously designed, and it’s good to appreciate that.

Anyway, the girls were talking on their phones to each other, playacting being other people, when this exchange took place and I had to drop everything and write it down.

M: How are you doing today?
N: Not so good. God just took a rib out of me to make a woman.
M: Oh my.
N: Yes. And When I woke up, it was awful! I went to feel my bone and it wasn’t there– it was all mushy.

Attachment is not sufficiency.

When Elisha was approaching a year I had this exchange with Nate V while we were getting ready to leave the church.

Me: It is so awesome to watch Elisha develop an attachment to his daddy. He’ll be lunging and calling for Jay as soon as he walks in the door. It’s so nice for me now that Elisha finds Daddy desirable.

Nate (serious and smiling at the same time): But, then, desirability is not sufficiency. When he wants Mama, only Mama will do.

(He has a son 6-months older than mine.)

How do we know?

And does it matter?

Melody came to her doorway (opposite mine) tonight and said, “Mommy, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

This whole time (you know, a whole week) I’ve been struggling with how to properly encourage Natasha for her choice without making it look… too good, so Melody wouldn’t just be a little mimic. I really thought I did pretty well, so I wasn’t expecting mimicking behavior.

I felt a little stunned (you might have thought she said “Mom, I’m pregnant,” I felt caught so off-guard). Not wanting to discourage her, but wanting to know more, I asked, “How did you do that?”

“In bed,” she said matter-of-factly.

I sent her back to bed with a smile and hug, not sure what to think. Natasha returned from bathroom a trip a bit after, and I heard Melody say, “Natasha, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

“That’s great!” Natasha responded enthusiastically. Then I heard her pray.

“Dear Jesus, thank you that Melody asked Jesus into her heart!”

Now, that would have been a natural place to start, I thought. I went into the room, not sure I’d heard right.

“Did you say something, Natasha?”

“No, I was just prayin’.” She looked a little bashful but was smiling so big.

Then Melody asked “Can you pray with me, Mommy, to ask Jesus in my heart?”

So I prayed with her– or started to– the repeat-after-me bit, and she took off with her own way of praying (and looked at me funny when I said the bit about obeying).

I lay everyone back down again and went to talk to Jay about it. I asked, “How do we know this is real? Does it matter?”

He said “I really don’t think it does. Treat it as real, and work form there.”

And, I guess he’s right. God knows their hearts, and I don’t have a reason to doubt or discourage her. It’s an ineffable feeling of relief to see both my girls’ hearts “safe home.” I never expected I’d feel this way.

It’s like that 20-lbs I lose every evening when Jay comes home and lifts Elisha off my back. That mixed with a little vertigo and the feeling of being outside right after it’s rained. I don’t know. I felt a bit like this after Natasha last week, and maybe it’s doubled now…


It is nice to know the stories we read together can now be more for them than just stories. That they can have the same significance for both girls.

I’ve felt a difference between the girls’ listening this past week, and wonder if Melody will hear differently in the morning.

Actually, she was more intrigued tonight than she’s been in the previous week, so… maybe God was already working on that part of her heart. And she was asking questions about Great-grandma and heaven after bible time.

Not like Natasha did, so I didn’t really think anything of it at the time… but it really seems like she was doing some level of processing this evening.

It makes me think of when I felt Elisha move at something like 3-months gestation.

I didn’t think before I felt him that it was physically possible, but when it happened I knew it was real. I guess my mind is growing into that place with Melody, thinking about the progression of the evening.

~ ~ ~

If you take any prayer-requests away from this reading, please pray that both these two new babies would be “rooted and established in love,” and be eager to grow– in their love of Scripture, in prayer and in obedience.

Pray especially for Melody to learn self-control, as lately she’s been having a hard time controlling her reactions to things (just and unjust).

And pray for my faith too, that I can trust that God will use these young confessions of faith, and allow them to spur one another on as they continue to grow on very parallel tracks.

Thanks for reading (and praying).

About Feeding…

One of the largest concerns in my mind after Natasha made her decision for Christ was how to feed her. And then, how did I know it was real?

I poked around on-line and made some calls (knowing I’ve seen a very competent “arrival kit” for adult new believers I hoped there might be something I could use with my 4-year-old). Not easily finding something, my mind went next (I’m sorry! It’s been trained!) to “Maybe that means I should write something myself…”

Then, as my mind was there, I began to wonder how I could know if Natasha knew what she was doing (after all, 4 is awfully young…). I didn’t want my clumsy efforts to guinea-pig her and cool her interest in things of the faith.

God graciously encouraged my heart, though.

  • Natasha didn’t want to call and tell anyone (e.g. grandparents), which was what made me wonder in the first place, but when I was on the phone she wanted me to tell them.
  • She’s had an increased appetite for the Word (tell me that isn’t inspiring), wanting the real thing.

I grabbed the picture-bible because it was near-by and I was nursing the baby, but she said, “No, Mama, I don’t want the picture one, I want mine.” “The one with just words?” “Yes.” And she went and got it.

  • She’s been willing to pray “publicly” for the first time (volunteering to pray over dinner tonight)
  • And she told grandma about her decision as soon as she saw her.

So I was encouraged. And I did find a couple picture books that bring up concepts I wanted her to think about (because I expect she’ll still want picture books at her age).

The break-through for my first concern came when a church secretary called me back and said none of the right people were around to ask the curriculum question of.

Then she pointed out that with her three daughters (all grown, and all raising their children in the Faith) she had just continued with the same tack as before, reading bible stories, talking about the things of faith. The difference being that after a decision for Christ those talks have more meaning for the child.

This was such a wonderfully simple truth and I had never seen it this way. It lifted my concern (that I believe most young parents have) about how to feed my baby “right” on my own.


In all the bible stories we’ve read since Wednesday night, I’ve been able to bring up questions about our response to God and how He interacted with the people in the stories.

As a storyteller, the idea of staying with the stories themselves is so freeing. I don’t need to find a way to introduce a “simplified” Romans or Galatians to my 4-year-old. There is plenty of time for that later. For now I can be thankful for the many truths that God has provided in the stories he gave us.

From Balaam and we’ve already filled-in some gaps I had woken concerned about the morning after. God is faithful, and will always make provision for the right thing at the right time.

In the same way that I can say, “No, we’re not reading about Judah and Tamar,” knowing it’s not age-appropriate, I can wait on many other things as well.

“Jesus loves me, this I know,” is a beginning that has confounded scholars and kept them busy long enough to let my daughter grow ready for other eternal truths.

We’re so Cute…

Jay and I were sharing a hug and kiss just inside our room as our girls ran past, down the hallway.

Natasha  (4 years old) stopped in her tracks with a soft, “Awww,” and a wispered, “Come’ere” to her little sister.

We held each other a little longer without looking at them, me silently fighting the giggles, so I’m not sure who made the blissful little sigh before they moved on.

I’ve aways  felt children like to see their parents happy together.   This was a fun reminder.