How disappointing…

That’s what Grandma said Friday when Mom told her she (Gma) probably has cancer in her blood.

The doctor has sent her bone-marrow samples off to a different lab to see why the cancer didn’t show up in the earlier test, and to confirm this diagnosis. (This is my understanding of things).

Doctor Carroll has said that if anyone wants to see her again they should make travel plans now, because this is a very fast-acting cancer. Mom has been tight-lipped about an actual time-frame, saying diagnosis kills as many people as diseases. She’s told Grandma that if she lives another six years people can come back then, but we want to be ready for anything, so we’re telling folks to come now. Only she doesn’t think it will be six years. She very concerned about the “dying from diagnosis” phynomenon.

Gma’s ready to go on living, and having a (more) finite life-span before her really is disappointing to her. She enjoys life.

I was very disappointed too. I had hoped that something about the hospital environment was oppressing her, holding her back. Because then taking her home would “fix” her. Now we’re told there’s nothing that will, and we are reduce to waiting and watching. And “comfort-measures.”

How do I watch my (2nd) best-friend die? I just do. Figure it out as I go along.