Category Archives: Family

Here’s what we look like today.

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May 2013 (Facebook Compilation)

May 2: EEP.

So I’m slowly and in a not-actively-marketing way growing my business (Untangling Tales: Professional Bios and Story Coaching), basically praying about it, staying “available” but not pushing anything because my life is full-enough, and I’m sort of being asked for the next level.

That would be being paid for my talk/workshop on writing professional bios.

In other (big) news, my Lindorm novel is now officially long enough to be two books, and part of knowing that is announcing Book-One is *finished.*

70,000 words. (Approximately.)

Next step is proof-reading the and writing a query letter. (But you can get as many details as you want at UntanglingTales.com. Just search Lindorm for the latest.

May 7: Okay, how much of a story-geek does it make me that I’m reading the Sparknotes summary of “The Importance of Being Earnest” and cracking up multiple times?

Never saw or read the play before. Just had it referenced *again* and decided I needed to know what’s going on.

Anyway, totally worth the read. Just the *summary* got me belly-laughing. Can’t know if the whole play would be worth wading through, but this I loved.

~

Creep-out!

I’m editing my novel, right?
Which means I’m entering other skins and descriptions.

Here’s what I’d just. finished. reading:

**For some reason it made me remember my revulsion in the lambing pen when large spiders, drawn by the warmth of new life, skittered across the straw and, three different times, onto the face of the new lamb itself.**

And something was skittering on my wrist under the desk.
I whacked it automatically and it *crunched* under my fingers. An ant as long as my fingernail.

#shiver#

May 10: And to celebrate (the previous post), I’m… scrubbing out our oddly-discolored dishwasher.

Once.

If it goes squicky again before next year, we’ll just keep suffering through. (Aaand it finally died. 11/13)

Also: Something that made me *wail* with much-needed-cathartic-laughter–

Dogs don’t understand basic concepts like moving.
Pretty much the whole time.
Every next-line started me over again.

I did not know how much I needed to laugh.
Or remember how good laugh-tired feels.

May 14: My subconscious is so *cute.*

The way things can layer and still make sense.

My dream this morning included a note from a “friend” in New York (someone I knew in the dreamworld) I’d apparently given a guinea pig to.

She (the human) was both true to her own beliefs (agnostic/atheist– no afterlife) and either very kind or “socially discrete.”

She had a note sent to me in my (1800s era) hotel room with a the item, “[Guinea pig name] went to China.”

Once I understood the animal was dead, it made sense: into-the-ground=traveling to China.

I thought it made a surprising amount of sense for a dream.

May 16: 2nd goat went into labor today, and I got all James-Harriot up-past-my-elbow in her uterus for two hours trying to straighten out the kid’s head. It was snaked back behind his shoulder, blocking progress.

I was keenly reminded of my own weakness this morning. Kept feeling as though greater endurance could have won the day.

Finally my hands were just too painful to try any more (the dizziness and weak arms were also contributing factors).

Thankfully we found a vet answering the phone (I called four numbers, left messages and kept calling back to catch the person I did).

She got a C-section.

There was only one kid, already dead. A buck, so I felt less disappointed than otherwise. But also the vet said he was probably too big to get out anyway, and that assuaged my self-disappointment.

Thing is, the adventure/ emergency forced me to cancel the dr. appt where I hoped to ask what is up with this persistent weakness.

Now I have to start over again.

Praying for a full recovery and good milk supply from our bereaved doe.

And strength for me. I’m still a bit wobbly here at the end of the day.

May 21: Words often say more than what they say: “A Fate worse than Death.”

May 31:

Girls walking through: Ow! Ow. OW.
Me (noting the fairy wings): Are those pretend ‘Ows?’
N: Yes.

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Trauma

So I seem to have a habit of giving people more than they’re [really] asking for.

Gerald, my Toastmasters mentor, called up over his lunch hour and opened with some species of “How’s it going?”

I’m often very good at giving the standard flippant response, but I’ve been mulling over that same question all morning, so instead I said, “Well, I’m a little traumatized right now, actually.”

“Ah,” he said, still in convo-lite mode. “That snow coming down.”

“No,” I said, suddenly realizing I’ve been surprised by it all four times I’ve walked out the door since it started. “I had a trauma yesterday– The goat went into labor, I spent two hours with my arm inside her trying to straighten out a baby that was too big to get out anyway. We ended up getting her a C-section and the baby was born dead. So, yeah, traumatized is a good word for ‘how I am’ right now.” Then I rushed on, recognizing there’s probably no way for him to recover from that statement. “But that’s not why you called, how can I help you…?”

More trouble is that the surgery cost twice as much as the goat did, and she’s still not voluntarily walking around, she’s shivering in the warm barn, and too many things look swollen that shouldn’t be, so I am still concerned for her life/health, and the whole thing doesn’t feel over yet.

I had two appointments Thursday morning, because usually I take the kids to school and it’s a good day to get stuff done.

I had to cancel the doctor appointment, but it looked like I could make the consultation at the IDEA (homeschooling) office, so I pressed into that.  I felt really shaky, and every time I told the next person (four people over five hours) what I was doing/looking for and why, I got teary and self-conscious.

But I kept pressing because I wanted answers. I wanted something solid and concrete so I could wipe this question off the front of my mind.

The result is that I came home shaking and exhausted (I hadn’t brought any food or eaten lunch) but I had all the pieces I needed to loop the loose ends together and make a coherent whole.

Winterdust wasn’t then and still isn’t now seeming better as I’d hoped, and I’ve fallen back on my old standby (denial?) just staying inside and moving slowly forward on some small projects, like getting that broth canned, so it’s not wasted, and running the dishwasher.

One sad thing is that being the time of year it is I can’t even de-stress by catching up on TV shows, because they’re all finales, so my whole reason for watching shows right now (closure) is unlikely to be fulfilled.

Along the same line I’ve been delaying the dive-in to the next novel (Shadow Swan, NaNo 2010), because I dipped my toe earlier this week and all my intensity jacked up, full-throttle. That is, I usually feel the tension/stress of my stories until they’re completely written– which explains why I haven’t had the emotional energy to do a lot of work sometimes.

NaNo has been the exception– the pace of writing (and the legitimization of making the Story almost my main world of occupation…) it seems to work out.

There’s a *lot* that needs to be fixed and added to finish it from “just” 50,000 words, and I need to treat this like a marathon, not a sprint. But that looks like it’s going to take some rewiring.

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April update 2013 (Facebook compilation)

April 6: Down to one row of rabbits! (Californians went to their new home today.) So thankful for the increased breathing room.

April 7: Melody cried, complained, delayed and “forgot” enough.  She wanted a low-maintenance haircut, Jay gave her one before church.

Shaved Melody 3

Sibling reactions (M came out of the bathroom, griShaved Melody 2nning to sShaved Melody 1plit her face).

Sib reaction 1 Sib reaction 2 Sib reaction 3

April 8: Person of Interest is now my favorite show. On so many levels. I don’t gush, but if you asked me to, I could make a starter list below.

  • Short list (since Becky asked), in no particular order (except #1 is #1)
    • 1. huge value placed on the individual– every life is worth protecting, even when you don’t know who they are or what they contribute to society. They are human: one of us, and therefore worth protecting.
    • The style of humor
    • Nobody yells
    • opportunities for “sexy” visuals are minimized or skipped completely (at least compared to the other shows I’ve seen).
      • I just learned the actor who plays John Reese is a practicing Catholic who refused to do a bedroom scene in an earlier movie because of his beliefs. That’s big-points in my book, makes me glad I’m supporting his work.
    • Smart writing
    • Layered, multi-strand stories
    • Things change almost every episode (i.e., no “Status quo is god” stuff. Even core characters appear to grow)
    • core characters are established, then stretched (i.e., “the brain” and “the brawn” have to swap or at least share roles at times.
    • “No one has to walk alone.”

April 9: (Me- shouting to be heard over the girls’ arguing:)

“Natasha and Melody! May I remind you that you will be living together for the next TEN. YEARS. You need to find a way to get along and communicate without yelling at one another.”

*Silence.*

*Quiet conversation.* [Bless God.]

Also April 9: E [gasping in the midst of his story]: I barely got away. Had to kill them with my rubber band. They were *really* hard to kill.

April 10: Had my first business presentation tonight. Well-received, and good feedback from my TM mentor.

This is feeling more real by the day.

Next step might be to rework the UT site to be a more-fitting landing page for a business. (ETA: business website is now WritingHope.com instead of UT)

Surreal as well as real. I’m excited and getting into something I’m also good at.

April 13: Cleaned the girls’ room today– by putting each kid’s stuff on her bed.

Stuff always gets left on the floor b/c no one wants to take responsibility. Now that I’ve got the floor clear & vacuumed it’s pretty clear who needs to deal with what.

(Now to see if they finish the aways before bedtime.)

April 17: Anybody else– Okay, any other WOMEN– tired of the “modesty” talks females are repeatedly subjected to? Anybody think it’s time men had their turn? Please enjoy.

April 18: I love this. Especially the bit about finding something that gives you the energy to put the hours in– so true.

April 19: Melody got a new, pre-named toy.

M: Chalky [new toy] doesn’t make me feel ‘safe and cared for’ [the words in his description tag]. *You* make me feel ‘safe and cared for.'”

April 24: Woohoo! Jay got me the first season of Person of Interest for my Bday!

SO fun. Watched the fist two eps tonight.

Only downside is that J likes it too, now, so I can’t just binge my way through the season. :} Have to wait for him.

April 30: “Human beings are the only creatures who are allowed to fail. If an ant fails, it’s dead. But we’re allowed to learn from our mistakes and from our failures. And that’s how I learn, by falling flat on my face and picking myself up and starting all over again.”
? Madeleine L’Engle

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Zombies

So I’m walking by the Living room and hear the word zombies, so I stop and listen.

Melody is telling Elisha how only the one Playmobile figure is human and all the rest are zombies.

So I ask, “What’s a zombie?”
And she says, “A person back from the dead.”
So I say, “Oh, like Lazarus?” and she says, “No. They’re different. If you shake them, bits fall off.”
And I say, “That’s very interesting. Where did you learn about zombies?”

And she said, “From Morgan. In 2nd grade.”
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. I love that she’s not afraid, but, Really? Zombies?

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August Update 2012

Okay, school’s in session.

Jay asked me to spend the the first day of school on-site, in case the sudden change was too much of a shock for any of the children.

I camped in a workroom one wall from Melody and Elisha’s 1st & 2nd (combined) class and heard their first interactions with their teacher (Elisha’s spontaneous and musical, Melody’s called-on, but confident). The teacher kept going no matter what, continued her lesson without hiccup, and I began to realize how very different this rhythm was than anything I could do.

Before the end of the morning I was pretty agitated, actually. The hum and energy and metronome-steady press so close to me was nearly overwhelming.

I went into their classroom at lunch, and read to Melody after she finished eating.

She’d seen an illustrated version of Heidi in the book basket, one she remembered reading at home, and asked for it. For the next few minutes she lay in my arms and just soaked up Mama. While the rest of the class thrummed by their desks waiting to be released to recess.

The next morning (and every morning the rest of the week) Melody made it clear she was not interested in going away to school anymore, but we emphasized this was not a decision she got to make.

At the same time, I understood.  The clip and the rhythm and the push of an experienced teacher is very different that what any of us are used to, and it was nothing that I would be comfortable with myself.  I wrestled briefly with whether I could make my kids do something I wouldn’t do myself.

My conclusion was two-fold:

  1. I already had done this. I wasn’t asking her to do something I never endured.
  2. I think all children need both structure and the opposite in their lives. If my kids can get the structure side of things from someone else, that means that I don’t have to make it happen. And that. is awesome.

Continue reading →

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Next Steps – more infrastructure

Whew!

Reminded today why I was sure as a kid I hated writing.

And I’m instantly a supporter of smart, on-line registrations.

You know the kind– where forms replicate your information as soon as you check same on your mailing address.

I filled out paperwork for three kids for school, and for a doctor appointment at a clinic they’ve never visited before. Four pages for each kid for each set. And I swear they wanted addresses and every phone number onevery page.

Maddening.

My hand was cramping up by the end, and hurt to use.

Can you get carpal tunnel from writing when you don’t get it from typing?

Anyway, I decided to ‘bite the bullet’ and get all my kids tested for Celiac disease, just because there are health repercussions if they have it and don’t know to take care, and also because I’m ready (at times) to just simplify my life by making the whole crew GF.

Thing is, as testing works these days you can (by definition) only be diagnosed with CD by the lab finding damage in one’s small intestine.  If someone has been off of gluten long enough that no damage shows, there is no way to be 100% certain about that individual’s status.

So before I got really serious about including the kids all the time, I wanted to get this ou of the way so they can make their own choices down the road with all the data.

That’s tomorrow. And I’m always nervous about meeting a new practitioner, because I have a (maybe overactive) tendency to read into what people say and how they treat me.

And I expect them to know more than me, since they’re the ones who’ve been educated in these things.

 

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School Plans for Fall of 2012

We are very excited (nervous, anticipatory– not anxious) about school this fall.

As you may know, this year is Jay’s “turn” to travel to Antarctica again (because this is the internet I’m not going to specify when. Those who need to know and don’t should have our email).  Because of the combined weight of single parenting and the other challenges during his absence we looked into “away” school as a means of lightening my load.

The result is we’ve picked a Christian school (uniforms and all) that we’ve committed to for the fall semester. We’ll reevaluate at Christmas as to whether the children will finish out the year there.

Natasha is already excited, Melody already trepedatious, and Elisha vaguely positive, but mostly neutral.

School starts early enough in the day that Jay will take the kids on his way to work, but that will mean retraining everyone’s sleep schedules: they’ll need to leave with Daddy before 7:30 in the morning, which means they’ll need to be up around 6, which means we’ll have to try and have everyone down by 7:30.

We’ll experiment with some of those changes (up and down) closer to school’s start in August.

And for me, now that I’m settled that Fall semester (at least) is happening away from home, I’m trying to wrap my head around the implications. Of course there’s the ~6-hours alone each day, and that currently seems like a fairy tale.

Continue reading →

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Early May 2012

So we’re barely out of April, but still loads going on.

(I hope really soon to start back up with the menu-building posts– because it could mean *I’m* back on a menu.)

We decided to sell Cream. It was really hard for Natasha and me.

The one consolation we could offer her is that she now has her very own rabbit. It is the last silver fox (cross) we have, and Natasha named her Black Beauty. We’ve given Natasha full ownership (along with care) and Natasha will be able to keep BB as long as she lives, if that’s her desire. She just has to maintain the present level of care.

We sold all of the non-Orpington chickens (and the extra rooster) last week, and I’ve sold a total of 14 meat rabbits so far, for breeding stock.  I expect to sell one more trio this week, along with the angora buck (and I’d let the mama-A go to, if I could find an interested buyer).

I have a few small baskets of angora from what I’ve collected over the last year, so I think one will do fine to keep me as busy as I want to be with wool.

It was a relief to find critters leaving (nearly) as fast as we wanted, and then this week I went out to feed the chickens and found a slaughterhouse.

A marten had gotten in and torn out the throats of every bird in the place.

Thankfully for me, three of the hens broke out; they were the only ones to survive (but they mean I still have home grown eggs so I can still eat eggs). I stayed up till after 3a.m. Thursday morning, trying to work through salvaging all the meat. Continue reading →

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Sickness

We’re currently fighting a serious bug going through our house.

Melody’s fever seems to have finally stayed away (after four days of persistence), and everybody’s been pretty listless on both ends of the fever (N and E have had symptoms as well.  And it’s been interesting to observe how feeling yucky really does make you act yucky. It’s a backwards sort of nice that I can say, Woah, this is really out of character!)

Melody went through an entire square box of tissues Saturday. Elisha and Natasha picked up her cough by Sunday evening, and until yesterday (Tuesday) Elisha’s the only one who could hang on to energy.

Sunday I stayed home with the younger two. Elisha was a great helper, and Melody got dressed, which was an accomplishment compared to Saturday.

Monday both girls held their low fevers and needed lots of holding by Mama. Which was fine, accept when people want to eat, too.

Conveniently, when they’re feeling this crummy, they don’t seem to care as much about food.