Jay brought it out yesterday, and and the kids and I trimmed it today.
It’s twirling in front of our window (I’ve always felt people with Christmas trees should share them with the neighborhood).
Putting on the ornaments reminded me that I haven’t looked for anything new this year (I got representative stuff last year. But then, we were actually around the type of store that sold that sort of thing, and we arent now. {shrug} We’ll see what happens.
Isn’t this sad?
The girls didn’t even know what cauliflower is. Shopping yesterday I bought some, and the girls’ reactions were great.
“What’s that?” (distrustful) “What do you do with it?”
I explained it by saying you can do anything with it you do with broccoli. One of the girls gushed, “You can make soup with it!”
So that’s the plan for dinner.
At the book store last week Elisha met a little girl his size who was there with her father.
Both kids were dinging around (not-listening) and after a while I had to round up my three and take them to the bathroom for a diaper change (not going to leave anyone unsupervised, of course).
The dad (he seemed young to me) saw me herding them all and shook his head saying, “And I thought my hands were full!”
Smiling at the new thought I told him, “You’ll find that your hands grow.”
~ ~ ~
But the incident made me realize that I needed to do something about Elisha’s not-listening. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and finally got to do something about it today.
While out grocery shopping (morning-shopping is *awesome* even with three little kids in tow) Elisha wanted to be out of the cart like his sisters. He then ran the other way when I called him to come closer.
This earned him a swat and a time-out in the cart. He came four or five times on the first call before he tested me again. He is relishing his new freedom, as I am relishing his growing understanding and obedience.
We both know now that he can come when called, and that there are positive and negitive results for every behavior. All that remains to be worked out (and I’m having to re-train the girls a bit in this, as his understanding depends on their modeling) is what freedom looks like.
When we shop the stores are mostly empty, so I let the girls run around as much as they like, as long as there’s no one else in the isle and we can see one another. This allows for a great deal of freedom while still having specific (if invisible) boundaries.
These I’m much more lenient in enforcing, because I think they might be a little too subtle for Elisha to grasp.
But this training reminded me that having to “count” to make a child obey means they’ve already disobeyed. Counting (and I count backwards: 3-2-1) is the parent’s way of saying
I really don’t want to enforce this rule right now. Are you going to make me?”
And the kid decides (or doesn’t) that s/he doesn’t really want it enforced either.
I counted once with Elisha– out of habit, I do it so much with Melody– before I realized how silly it was. He has no concept of the counting, and for him to learn to obey at once will be much more pleasant anyway.
The girls have developed an attachment to The Sound of Music and we were watching it this morning.
How would you explain Maria’s leaving after her dance with the Captain? To a 3- and 4-year-old? I did okay, I guess, but I’ve not had an answer before today (and they have asked).
Today I said Maria thought she couldn’t serve God if she got married, and she felt she loved the Captain and wanted to leave before he wanted to get married.
Natasha seemed to understand me, and I added “That’s a little silly, isn’t it? We know lots of people who are married and serve God. Don’t we?” She grinned.
“You!” she said.
I liked that.
Well, it’s been a while so I wanted to write something 😉
We spent a lovely week up North with Jim and Teena, half of it also with Aaron and Autumn, allowing me the rare opportunity to talk with them and especially to get to know Autumn better. Very special.
If I haven’t said so before, Elisha is definitely not a baby anymore. He is done nursing, plays with the big kids, and knows his own mind. He is picking up quickly on new signs, loves his animal-noises book and when he uses an English word it can be surprisingly distinct– once you realize he’s saying a word.
(“Stuck” was one that debuted at Grandma Teena’s house. And he was.)
Melody has been nearly dry for two days– that is to say, I think she had two wet diapers yesterday, and only one today. She was also dry all night.
Still doesn’t seem to care much though. I praise her when she’s dry but she *hates* to be “reminded” (nagged) so this is still very much going at her pace. This is the same progression that happened with Natasha a little bit earlier age, even, so I’m content just riding along for a while more.
The less I rush it the less trained I have to be.
Natasha has been very snuggly lately. I mentioned to Dad tonight that if I didn’t have snuggly kids I might be mourning more the growing up of my babies. But since they all are still little starfish– desiring to be with and on and attached to me– I have nothing to miss except their smallness, which I only miss when I’ve been holding them, standing, for way too long.
Natasha is, I think, more ready for focused, orderly, school work, but that is currently on-hold until I learn a new way to provide her was the structure she needs and shelter that order from her siblings who do not currently crave the same type of order.
All the Children love to dance– at home– all it takes is putting on one of their favorite recordings and they are instantly into it. Natasha will sing along too, sometimes, when encouraged. Mom is hoping we can get all the kids to sing together when her other grandkids are in town for a few days.
I have my doubts about its chance for success, but maybe having older models will be enough to surprise me.
After a wedding last year Jay was surprised to realize how early a little girl’s wedding fantasies could begin. This week I was surprised to learn how early a little boy could begin acting like a man.
~
When visiting the homestead I always feel uncomfortable having my little children around Toby. He’s very dominant and doesn’t listen well to me, which, I admit, disposes me more against him.
He’s only actually acted dangerous when the kids are running and shreaking (usually from an uncle or Grandpa playing “monster”), but whenever the dog wanders into the vicinity of the children someone will tell him to get away. I prefer it this way.
One morning Toby followed a bunch of us into the back of the house. Teena told him to get on his way and he wandered into a bedroom further down the hall. Elisha kept stumping toward Toby as he walked away from us, and shook his finger in the empty hallway, grunting authoritatively ( “Ungh! Ungh!”).
Then he took my finger and tottled around until he was between me and the room the dog had gone into, then he *pushed* me ahead of him up the hallway. He watched the bedroom door all the way, and when Toby poked his head out it prompted another series of fierce grunts and finger-shaking.
He didn’t let go of me or stop pushing until he’d taken us straight to the room where Jay was working. When he saw his dad and I started telling the story, Elisha wandered off in his normal, aimless, little-boy way.
But there was no question that for a while there he was very focussed on protecting his Mama and getting her where he thought she’d be safe.
Elisha has to be told to sit on the opposite side of the kitchen (against the cabinets) if I’m trying to take someting out of the oven. Otherwise he’s hovering right by the door, signing hot! hot! excitedly. Here he’s heard the timer go off and he knows what’s supposed to come next.
This beautiful quilt was a gift from one of the ladies at our church. It’s awesome he has his “own” quilt now– since I’ve not been doing that since before he was born.
Here’s the crew measuring out the last details for the new computer desk.
Melody mugging for a picture. It’s really hard to catch one of her spontaneous smiles. I’m really praying for understanding about this one. She has such a capacity for love and delight, but she seems sullen and resentful too, sometimes, in a way the others aren’t.
Jay has been reading in the evenings, lately, and I just love this picture as a collection of some major pleasures in our lives (that’s ice cream he’s eating, in case you needed to ask).
I’m not sure where exactly she got the concept of “kindergarten,” but Natasha’s asked a couple times now when she’s starting and how it will be different than preschool.
In case you haven’t heard, I’m planning to start her in the Fall of ’08. She’ll be 5, then. I had wanted to wait until she was 6, but then I realized that Melody would be 5 that fall (maybe ready to start, herself), and I did want them to be separated a year.
I explained that kindergarten will be different because she will be doing school every day that Daddy goes to work, and we will be spending more time on some new things. The idea pricks her interest, but I can tell she’s not ready for it yet. She has a terrific attention span for things of her own choosing, but she hasn’t learned to consistently apply it to something of my choosing, which is something school will require.
Monday:
Elisha was fussing with Jay at bedtime, wanting me (trying to get away from Jay) and Jay told him (as he has before) that Mama was helping the girls go to sleep and he’d have to wait till I was available. For the first time he seemed to understand, settling sadly back to wait with Daddy instead of continuing to fight.
He fell asleep for me in five minutes. Just in the rocking chair. I haven’t bedtime-nursed him for abut a week now (first night was Killer, but it’s been great since then– one or no wakings a night).
Tuesday:
Today:
He let me lay him down at nap while he was still awake. I have to wonder if he rolls with this because he sees his sisters do it every day. For what ever reason, I laid down all three kids today (albeit late for nap) and walked out of the room knowing they were still awake, expecting them to go to sleep.
Like I said. Milestones. This is awesome.
Melody [cheerfully, as she peddles on the exercise bike]: I’m going to South America, Mom. See you when I get home!
Now I’m going to be puzzling for a while where she got South America.