Category Archives: Melody

About our middle child

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How do we know?

And does it matter?

Melody came to her doorway (opposite mine) tonight and said, “Mommy, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

This whole time (you know, a whole week) I’ve been struggling with how to properly encourage Natasha for her choice without making it look… too good, so Melody wouldn’t just be a little mimic. I really thought I did pretty well, so I wasn’t expecting mimicking behavior.

I felt a little stunned (you might have thought she said “Mom, I’m pregnant,” I felt caught so off-guard). Not wanting to discourage her, but wanting to know more, I asked, “How did you do that?”

“In bed,” she said matter-of-factly.

I sent her back to bed with a smile and hug, not sure what to think. Natasha returned from bathroom a trip a bit after, and I heard Melody say, “Natasha, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

“That’s great!” Natasha responded enthusiastically. Then I heard her pray.

“Dear Jesus, thank you that Melody asked Jesus into her heart!”

Now, that would have been a natural place to start, I thought. I went into the room, not sure I’d heard right.

“Did you say something, Natasha?”

“No, I was just prayin’.” She looked a little bashful but was smiling so big.

Then Melody asked “Can you pray with me, Mommy, to ask Jesus in my heart?”

So I prayed with her– or started to– the repeat-after-me bit, and she took off with her own way of praying (and looked at me funny when I said the bit about obeying).

I lay everyone back down again and went to talk to Jay about it. I asked, “How do we know this is real? Does it matter?”

He said “I really don’t think it does. Treat it as real, and work form there.”

And, I guess he’s right. God knows their hearts, and I don’t have a reason to doubt or discourage her. It’s an ineffable feeling of relief to see both my girls’ hearts “safe home.” I never expected I’d feel this way.

It’s like that 20-lbs I lose every evening when Jay comes home and lifts Elisha off my back. That mixed with a little vertigo and the feeling of being outside right after it’s rained. I don’t know. I felt a bit like this after Natasha last week, and maybe it’s doubled now…

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It is nice to know the stories we read together can now be more for them than just stories. That they can have the same significance for both girls.

I’ve felt a difference between the girls’ listening this past week, and wonder if Melody will hear differently in the morning.

Actually, she was more intrigued tonight than she’s been in the previous week, so… maybe God was already working on that part of her heart. And she was asking questions about Great-grandma and heaven after bible time.

Not like Natasha did, so I didn’t really think anything of it at the time… but it really seems like she was doing some level of processing this evening.

It makes me think of when I felt Elisha move at something like 3-months gestation.

I didn’t think before I felt him that it was physically possible, but when it happened I knew it was real. I guess my mind is growing into that place with Melody, thinking about the progression of the evening.

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If you take any prayer-requests away from this reading, please pray that both these two new babies would be “rooted and established in love,” and be eager to grow– in their love of Scripture, in prayer and in obedience.

Pray especially for Melody to learn self-control, as lately she’s been having a hard time controlling her reactions to things (just and unjust).

And pray for my faith too, that I can trust that God will use these young confessions of faith, and allow them to spur one another on as they continue to grow on very parallel tracks.

Thanks for reading (and praying).

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Getting closer to 3

Melody is talking more, more fluidly/understandably, and sleeping-in when she’s been up too late. All things I (because of Natasha) associate with being three.

She continues to have both a larger need for time alone and a greater (or at least more vocalized) need for one-on-one/touch/”snuddle” time.

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General Update

We are (Lord willing!) coming out of a black hole of sleeplessness.

Natasha was having frequent night terrors, Elisha would wake 4-6 times in the night, and Melody would take forever just to get to sleep.

Melody still takes the longest of anybody to pass-out, but she’s generally quiet about it, and now that I’ve quit trying to shift the kids’ schedule earlier, Natasha’s been napping again and the terrors seem to be past.

For a week or two, I was attempting to nap the girls from Noon-2, hoping the earlier nap would help them sleep earlier at night. The mixed results (they would go down earlier, but wake more in the night) have since made it not worth the effort. The rhythm we fall into naturally seems to work much more peacefully.

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In other news, Melody has become the resident singer. She will join in whenever I start singing, and keeps singing even when she doesn’t know the words. ;o)

Natasha is more disinterested now, in general, but has learned all the words to “Papa’s Song” (the first verse of The Star Spangled Banner). She’d be interested in learning more verses if I knew them, but since we returned the picture book to the library before I memorized all the lines, I don’t have whole verses to offer her.

Elisha signs and says “All done,” now, and sometimes tries to use it when I’m changing his diaper. He loves to clap when we’re singing, and sometimes tries to sing along too.

He crawls everywhere, “cruises” along whatever furniture he can grab, and will stand independently for a brief time (he pulls himself up than lets go, grinning ear to ear before he plops back to his bottom).

We’ve tried to get him to walk with the toy hippo Gma H gave Melody when she was learning to walk, but I think the wheels are still a bit too fast for him. He ends up leaning forward until he’s walking on his knees.

Everybody is glorying in the warming weather, asking frequently to go outside (the girls) and dashing cat-like onto the front porch (Elisha) whenever the door is left open.

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Socratic Parenting

I just noticed this morning how many questions I use with the kids when I’m redirecting and/or annoyed with them.

When they’re mindlessly mouthing random objects:

Is that food? Does it belong in your mouth?

Seeing their use of books as stepping stones across an otherwise clear floor:

Are books for standing on?

Through squalls of desire for the latest must-have object:

Would you like a timer?

This is how an object changes hands. Sometimes the have-not will be so worked up and angry about not getting it *now* that she’ll screech No! and the result (her sister gets it even longer) just ramps her further until her focus changes.

They have both reacted this way, but it’s the best thing I’ve figured out so far, and when no one’s overtired it works really well.

Natasha will occasionally give the object to Melody because of the melt-down, so she gets enough reinforcement to try each time. I don’t really want Natasha to be less generous, but I’d really like to quit feeding the fire.

When one comes to tell me brokenly (and usually loudly) of her sister’s insensitivity:

Have you told her that makes you unhappy?

When the other refuses to modify her behavior:

Would you like it if she did that to you?

This latest still means nothing to Melody, but Natasha seems to just begin to understand it. I’ve only said it a couple times, but she has looked cowed, obviously seeing it that way for the first time, and has usually changed her behavior.

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We’re in Chaos Here

…but at least I can still feed them well.

We had ham and chix chowder for dinner and homemade choc ice cream for desert.

While finishing up in the kitchen I had fun thinking about the different things being said around our front room (one of them was me, and one was Jay. The rest were Natasha. Melody is currently on a nodding kick, where she seems to be resisting our family’s tendency to use words so much).

  • “Respect her ‘No,’ Dad.” (Melody wasn’t in a mood to be teased and said so).
  • “Give her time, she just woke up.”
  • “Play Fives…with the pickle.” (“And the tickle?”)
  • (“Ew, yuck, I don’t like that.”) “That’s not something you can say to your mom. you can only say, ‘Thank you, very much!’ And eat it all up.”
  • Please don’t break your neck. That would make me very sad.

Natasha has begun to invent in her conversation. She told us all about her telephone conversation with Uncle Benjamin while we ate dinner. Bet you didn’t know he’s got three kids (he hasn’t told her their names yet) and he broke his arm last night.

How did he do that? Well, there was this tree, with spiky things sticking out of it. And Benjamin wanted very much to hug his mom, and was running toward her very fast and banged into the tree… and his arm fell off.

(This injury was why he didn’t have time to list the names of his children.)

But he was very happy to see his mama, and hugged her anyway. With his only-one arm.

Yeah, it might have been messy, but he was getting it taken care of. That’s why he couldn’t talk on the phone long. And his kids were staying with Abby and Hannah while he got fixed up.

We are just going to have to start recording dinners. It was a total hoot.

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Hot chips

Jay bought two varieties of Dorito chips while we were out shopping yesterday. Both of them spicy.

Our girls love doritos, so when Jay opened a bag tonight he gave some to each of them. Poor things! They wanted so much to eat them but they were too hot. Jay said they’d take a little nibble, then guzzle down their water (or milk) and ask for more.

They got through about a chip and a half this way, before they gave up.

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Applicable Bible Verses

I mentioned in another post the first verses we taught our girls and how they responded.

We’ve begun a new round (and type) of memorization recently.

After a hiatus (where we did no verses at all), Natasha began responding very well to working on her Sunday School verse at bedtime. I like that verse very much, but I was beginning to think about how we explain verses to little kids.

Then I started wondering about the application bit of it. That led me to look for verses that have immediate applicability at the age they are now.

When Natasha made the connection between her song (“Lift up Your Countenance”) and what she saw (a fussy sister), that was her first instance of extracting application (or at least, relation) from words she’d memorized.

So in an effort to replicate that type of experience, I made a “set” of verses, distinguished by color, and printed out several pages and hung them around the house:

Hebrews 12:11

No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

 

Ephesians 4:29

No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear.

I love the attitude of Psalm 139:14. I also like the concrete elements of Hebrews 12:11 and Ephesians 4:29.

Tonight Jay came in as we were practicing “the pink one,” and joined in. Immediately the tenor of the whole exercise changed. We did the verse as a family, several times, and then Natasha volunteered (for the first time) to say it on her own. There was much giggling, fun and encouragement as Natasha worked her way from beginning to end.

We gave her a word when she got stuck, and encouraged Melody to prompt from her few memorized phrases. It was the family-ist recitation time I can remember. Melody took a shot at it too.

And, if you’ve never heard a 2-year-old say things like “enjoyable,” “Later on, however,” and, “peace and righteousness,” you’ve really got to try and coax those out of her sometime. It was pretty great. The girls were so jazzed by their success they requested (and we practiced) the other two for a while also.

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Talking with Melody

Tonight I asked Melody, “What do you want for dinner?”
Without hesitation she answered, “Hot boiled beans!”

Grin.

It took me a minute to translate and make the connection (this is not a phrase she’s used before).
“And very good butter?” I asked.

*Big* grin. “Yeah!”

It’s Mother Goose.
This was a kick because she made the jump between dinner and supper and made an original joke.

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I poured juice for the girls after dinner and set the pitcher back down on the counter without clicking the lid closed. Melody noticed.

“Mama, Please close the lid?” I did.
“Thank you.” (Emphatic. Relieved.)

This is really important to her. Closing things. Having lids on. Makes me wonder if she would be more of a picker-upper if she felt that same connection with order that she does with the lids closing.

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N: I don’t like dreams. Make it so I don’t have dreams tonight.

M: I like dreams.

Interesting how the girls seem to think they can’t feel differently. They have to fight over it.

And they have to assert their individuality by giving their own answer (even if it’s the same), and asking the same question, even when I’ve already answered it for her sister, right in front of her.

This extends to rules and rebukes. One will see the other told no, then do the exact same thing, as though to test if the rules are the same for everyone.

It gets old, but I figure it’s not that different than it would be with “real” twins, so I just keep trying to be gracious.