Waiting

It’s interesting hearing about how devoted our generation/culture is to “instant gratification.”

I can’t deny it, but today I’m recognizing a type of… affinity with previous generations: With the type that hovered over the Sears catalogue, looking for that perfect something, then waiting impatiently for the mail to bring the desired item.

I don’t know why it should feel like Christmas– after all, I paid for it myself, and I know it’s coming– but somehow checking the mail each day brings a tiny thrill of hope. Will there be something *extra* today?

This wondering (though not the anticipation) is slightly diminished with the packages that have tracking numbers, but many of the books I buy come media mail, and truly could come anytime in a 3-week span. The tracking numbers are great though– I’ve only got two more days until my computer shows up. This according to Fed Ex, and ahead of schedule.

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I ordered several things today, and maybe buying “so much” has got my blood up. I feel myself wanting to go out an buy something “for real.” Something I can hold (not groceries, that’s boring). I keep thinking of the collection of journals (blank books) I saw at B&N last week. There were some nice ones there…

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I had this feeling a lot when Jay was in Antarctica last November. I kept warning him that I was going to go out and buy something totally unnecessary, just ’cause I was dying to buy something. And the bigger the better

“I need socks,” he’d e-mail back. “Why don’t you get me some socks? Or groceries. You’re probably getting low on something…” This, I informed him, is not the type of shopping/buying I’m talking about. I wanted to buy… yet another journal, the perfect pen, some book I’ve been meaning to read, or a reference volume for my storytelling or FAM work. Something useless and fun.

Socks are neither.

Never got anything big, though. Closest I got was a couple tubes of bath salts.

Don’t remember if I even got to finish them both before Jay came home. Something about running water seems to draw my children from sleep…

I eventually gave-up.

Oh, I did buy a new palm pilot (PDA), but returned it before the trial week was up. Can’t remember now if that got the bug out of my system…