Category Archives: Melody

About our middle child

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A couple advantages of living near a “real” school.

So we really started school today, complete with a visit to the school library and playing on the playground.

I don’t know how we got away with this last one except it was so warm today we none of us wanted to stay inside, and then my impulsive self said, Why just go around the loop when we could go down the street to the school and play on the playground?

Which, of course, the children heartily seconded.

Elisha learned that he still could move in all his gear if he really wanted to (he had been abnormally passive last night’s and today’s walks sitting in the sled without reaction or attempts to escape).

Once I encouraged him a bit he was all over that equipment and I had the normal mom-dilemma of needing to decide who to “spot.”

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After not-nearly-enough playing (I was getting antsy with nap-time growing closer and with Melody being sick– though she wasn’t coughing any more), I insisted we go in to visit the library, thinking that, if the administration was willing to share even if we weren’t enrolled, this close library would be an awesome alternate to the drive across town.

I hadn’t brought any ID, so I don’t know what I was thinking, really, but I probably had this vague hope the librarian I used to work for would still be there and I wouldn’t need ID.

Well, I found out today she retired two years ago (oops, I’m behind), but her replacement was a woman I met three years ago and she still knew how to spell my name (!). So I’m in.

It’s a delightful little place with a reasonable variety of books including lots of early readers which is good for where we’re at, but also full of derivative drivel for that level (any suggestions for good ways to say *NO* to the drivel?) .

We brought home some books from there today.

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Valentine’s Day, and Other Victories

Jay got all his ladies flowers back on Friday night, so it was really fun they made it to (and through) Valentine’s day.

A few days ago I sent him a link to a blog post under a “For your not-to-do list” subject line.

I thought the post was funny. I never guessed it would actually inspire him to write me a poem of his own. He sent it to me in French and Spanish both. The meaning seemed still fairly intact and I enjoyed it.

He keeps telling me he’ll send me the original…

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I noted on my other blog that I was doing really well in the home-keeping department, then the post-ovulatory phase of my cycle began and I totally crashed— physically useless for about 36 hours.

The change was so big I called Jay before he came home to apologize and prepare him.

He reassured me that he wasn’t surprised when he came home to a messy house, just really pleased when he came home and it looked nice.

This is nice on one level, of course, but I had to pretend a pout as he’s been coming home to a clean house more often than not for a several weeks.

I blamed my cycle at first, of course, but looking at my other habits I acknowledged it would probably help to continue taking vitamins and reading my bible.

It’s not (physio) “logical,” but I have tangibly higher energy- and motivation-levels when I’ve read my bible. I remember to read more often than I remember my vitamins, so I’ve seen the difference between the two.

So yesterday, Valentine’s Day, was very nice in several ways.

Having done what I could do (my reading and vitamins), despite feeling *blah* at first, I tackled the house and got a fair amount done.

When the kids got clingy and fussy and weren’t playing together as well, I shifted gears and read with the three of them in my lap for almost an hour.

Seriously. Elisha only got down twice in this time.

Nap went peacefully, and Natasha even fell asleep— with Thorin for her pillow. Very sweet, and *again* I was my most productive with everyone else in the house asleep. Just, it was for life/schooling stuff this time instead of my novel.

I have another pseudo-organizing activity to prepare for while I play clay with the children today, and if it goes well I’ll be describing it later in greater depth.

Have I mentioned that Natasha has been doing “quiet time” for an hour of napping time instead of sleeping? It’s made an earlier bedtime much more natural and effective.

Natasha sacks amazingly fast, and Melody, having no one to talk to, soon follows suit.

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After nap we all went to Fred Meyer and Melody got her first panties.

Yes, she’s completely out of diapers, at least for the days.

I asked her earlier in the week if she was ready to go, but she kept saying, “Not yet,” or “Two more sleeps.” Then, when I asked after nap yesterday, she said “Yes!”

In our conversation on the way she clarified, No, she is not a “big girl” now. She is a little girl who can use the potty.

Have I created another literalist?

Then for our Valentine’s Day dinner I made tomato soup (because it was red) and heart-shaped grilled-cheese sandwiches (with a cookie cutter; and everyone still got their piece of crust too). Dinner was very peaceful and sweet with the girls alternating declarations of love for different family members, pop-corn style.

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Round Two…

Melody is using the toilet for the second day in a row.

I’m pleased and thankful. And on some level feel a little vindicated (again).

I’ve never made potty-training an issue with my girls, basically making sure they know what to do, and then letting them do it whenever they’re motivated.

I didn’t want to be the one that was trained— that is the kid’s job.

Anyway, I found a stash of Disney Princess pull-ups, and Melody has been highly motivated these last couple of days, wanting to keep the princesses dry.

At least, I think that was the initial motivation, but now that she’s had a bunch of successes, I think she is getting the concept for itself, and is beginning to trust this is a skill she can master.

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Today’s “Funs”

Natasha (commenting on the shape of the syrup she just poured): Look, it’s like octopus tentacles grouped above its head!

Interesting that a girl who still says “muquis” instead of “music” can articulate “Octopus tentacles.”

Melody (at breakfast): Mommy, can you scoot me in the proper way?

And when I went down the hall to learn what Elisha was up to, I saw him sitting quietly on Natasha’s bed, “reading” his opposites board book with a stuffed seal under one arm.

I’ve got such sweet, fun kids.

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Beginning Homeschooling

So I did my first “concurrent” lessons today.

One thing I’ve wondered as I think/plan for this new job (homeschooling) is how I will prepare different things for different needs.

While the girls were napping today I read some more of a homeschooling book and took a couple ideas from there to make some “Language Arts” games.

Natasha has fabulous sight-reading skills, so I used some 3×5 cards to write some sentence components. I woke her up “early” from her nap to practice making sentences.

One word to a card, things like “My name is Natasha.” And a couple punctuation and Capital-opening cards.

Each name in the family was on a card, along with Thorin, and a half-dozen cousins. And the words “cat” and “cousin.”

We probably spent 20 minutes building sentences with exchangeable parts like, “Abby is my cousin.” and “Elisha is a boy.” We did lots of sillies too, and included the card “not” in its proper place.

When Melody got up I had a “game” waiting for her too.

I’ve noticed recently she doesn’t have all her letters memorized, and (again following a suggestion from the book) I made little “matching cards.”

I cut some 3x5s in half and made five each of B,b,M, and m.

The idea is to help her recognize letters that are not at all alike, and gradually introduce letters that are more similar when she’s ready for finer distinctions.

She adored the matching and sorting and pairing (big with the babies). Took it with her to show Grandma, even. Natasha brought hers too, but she had forgotten to put the “not” in the game-bag, so the sentences weren’t as fun as they had been earlier.

This evening I printed off some nicely illustrated sight-word lists to go over with Natasha.

We did the first four pages before bedtime story, and she was surprisingly eager, considering they’re just *random* words, but I guess when you’re doing well at something that’s its own motivation to continue.

She got more than half right on the first go.

Currently I’m vaguely concerned about her reading orientation, and don’t know if this is something to look at “early intervention” on, or just let it “work itself out.”

I wonder if she could be dyslexic or else just not trained enough to focus first on the first letter. The wh-words she “sight-read” as th-words (where became there, when was then), and no came out as on.

Natasha also “read” us a (very long) story right after dinner. She went without a pause and I finally gave up on trying to transcribe, because I couldn’t keep up enough for it to be coherent. I just have this opening. (She was reading from a book where the pictures of animals and birds are made of numbers):

Once upon a time in a land no one had ever seen a farmer named Bill Dutson went out to his garden….”That must be a bird who can find easily where numbers belong.” [farmer speaking after seeing a bird made of numbers]
1-9-9-3-6-4-7—

Ah! That wasn’t the proper way!

Boy, he had never seen such things, but he knew a duck should never see such a thing.

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Failed experiment?

Well that was a total shot in the dark.

Our girls have been staying awake more than an hour after being put to bed. Whenever they are put to bed.

Granted, we haven’t put them down before 8 p.m. (and one book I have says you have to have littles down by 7:30 or they hit their second wind), but they’ve never been to sleep less than an hour later.

I find this highly irritating. And I’m sure they do too.

I’m out here, working on my novel or reading a book that takes some thought, and these poor kids wander out every 20 minutes or so to remind me they exist and they’re bored out of their skulls.  (Really, 20 minutes is a long time for kids this young to do nothing, so relatively speaking they’re doing well.)

Tonight I offered to let them read in bed while they were awake, hoping it would wind them down, and give them a way to occupy their minds until they were tired.

In the back of my imagination I knew there was a chance they could fall asleep while reading, but I wouldn’t bank on it, because I know I *never* fall asleep reading something of my own choosing. My eyeballs dry up and I finally choose to put the book away before sleep will come.

And here we are 2-hours after I gave them their reading lights and they’re both awake and asking for the end of their bedtime routine (snuggles before I become the ogre and growl at them for being out of bed).

As preschoolers they really have no concept of the amount of time that has passed, but I do, and it’s more than the time they would have had awake in the dark.

I guess we’ll try again tomorrow (I’ve started waking them in the morning and from nap) with a *much shorter* time of reading aloud, and see if they sleep sooner or not after solitary reading.

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Words and Writing

Natasha wrote her first Thank-you notes today.

She and I practiced the letters in “THANK YOU” (She only wanted to do caps) until I felt they were recognizable, then I drew a straight line in a blank card and she wrote her thank-you on it. Then she decorated all the rest of the inside with stamps and markers.

The writing wasn’t easy. I coached her through each letter— where to start and which direction to move, how to space, and so on— four times.

But she was *very* proud of herself when she was done.

I don’t know if she would have been willing to try if she hadn’t just seen Mr. Rogers write a thank-you yesterday.

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During snuggles tonight Melody was telling me a story and used two “big” words– a couple times, like she was practicing. I didn’t write them down immediately so I lost one. The one I remember is “horrified.”

“He was just horrified,” she articulated, mouthing the word as if it were delicious. There was a huge smile in her voice.

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Setting Goals

So, mainly from recognizing the influence that goals had on me as a foster parent, I’ve decided I need to set goals for my own kids. And these are going to be basic, realistic goals here.

“Independently using the potty” is too big a goal for Melody just now. We’re going to start with just “Uses the potty when cued without complaining.”

For Elisha, the big one I would have put at the top of his list Jay just saw the fruition of Saturday night: Understanding and accepting the concept of ‘taking turns’.

Jay has been consciously working on that goal every time he has all three kids together. Elisha would consistently wig-out at having to let the ball go and watching someone else catch it.

Then, Saturday night when I was out storytelling, Jay was throwing the ball to each of them in turn, saying their names before tossing it, and Elisha got it. He sat and waited until his name was called, and then came alive, “catching” the ball and then throwing it back to Jay to pass to the next kid.

*Very* cool.  A lot of kids older than 20 months still don’t have this figured out 😉

So here are my little-step goals I want to keep in mind as we go through our days (the mechanism of attaining the goals is not always obvious, but I found before that focusing on the goals seems to shape what happens into meeting them).

For Natasha:

  1. Will use consistently kind words and tone, even when frustrated with siblings.
  2. Will be willing to read aloud when cued.
  3. Will put away books and toys when finished.

For Melody:

  1. Will use the potty when cued, without complaining.
  2. Will begin spontaneous sentences in a low voice.
  3. Will use words to express emotions, rather than crying or pouting.

For Elisha

  1. Will use words and signs rather than grunts for specific requests.
  2. Will patiently wait during diaper changes.
  3. Will stop grabbing objects from others.

All of these are things that we don’t currently have, but are (I believe) near enough that they’re not unreasonable.

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Books Figure Largely in Our Lives

Like I mentioned earlier, I spent most of January 1st working on books.

The girls and I traded bookshelves in our bedrooms. These pictures are the girls washing their “new” kid-sized bookshelf.

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And then I saw Elisha in his little rocking chair, sitting with “Where the Wild Things Are” in a perfect photo-op set-up. But Jay flopped out behind him on the bed and the boy immediately climbed over the back of the chair to get his daddy to read to him.

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There were so many great expressions the camera was *just* too slow to catch, but these were still fun too.

wild-2.jpg

wild-3.jpg

That last one is E roaring at the pictures of the “wild things.”

It’s so fun to watch my family do stuff together!

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Sleep and sweetness connected?

Starting Tuesday of last week (12/18) when she emptied her part of the dishwasher the first time she was asked, Melody has grown more and more sweet and affectionate. Almost compliant at times.

She still clams up and does her pouty face when she feels like too much is being asked of her (smile? right *now*?), but her words are becoming sweeter (“I love you so much.”) and her snuggles more…genuine, I guess is the word I’m looking for.

She’s always been a touch-hungry kiddo, but half the time it’s been a demanding on-her-terms sort of affection. It’s been nice watching her soften.

It’s also been a week of unexpected night-wakings. And I really wonder what’s going on in her little self– whether whatever is loosening her tongue is somehow causing her sleep to be disturbed.