So, mainly from recognizing the influence that goals had on me as a foster parent, I’ve decided I need to set goals for my own kids. And these are going to be basic, realistic goals here.
“Independently using the potty” is too big a goal for Melody just now. We’re going to start with just “Uses the potty when cued without complaining.”
For Elisha, the big one I would have put at the top of his list Jay just saw the fruition of Saturday night: Understanding and accepting the concept of ‘taking turns’.
Jay has been consciously working on that goal every time he has all three kids together. Elisha would consistently wig-out at having to let the ball go and watching someone else catch it.
Then, Saturday night when I was out storytelling, Jay was throwing the ball to each of them in turn, saying their names before tossing it, and Elisha got it. He sat and waited until his name was called, and then came alive, “catching” the ball and then throwing it back to Jay to pass to the next kid.
*Very* cool. A lot of kids older than 20 months still don’t have this figured out 😉
So here are my little-step goals I want to keep in mind as we go through our days (the mechanism of attaining the goals is not always obvious, but I found before that focusing on the goals seems to shape what happens into meeting them).
- Will use consistently kind words and tone, even when frustrated with siblings.
- Will be willing to read aloud when cued.
- Will put away books and toys when finished.
- Will use the potty when cued, without complaining.
- Will begin spontaneous sentences in a low voice.
- Will use words to express emotions, rather than crying or pouting.
- Will use words and signs rather than grunts for specific requests.
- Will patiently wait during diaper changes.
- Will stop grabbing objects from others.
All of these are things that we don’t currently have, but are (I believe) near enough that they’re not unreasonable.