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Homeschool: Not Optional for Us.

(Initially published at Untangling Tales)

I think the reason Kendra’s post meant so much to me was wrapped up in #5, and the rest were about understanding and surviving in that universe.

5. For many of us, homeschooling isn’t an option. Many believe it is not only the best way for their family, it is the only way… When sharing a particular struggle unique to homeschooling, comments like, “Well, why don’t you consider putting them in school? Maybe homeschooling just isn’t your thing” aren’t helpful. Instead, offer a listening ear and your fervent prayers on her behalf.

Jay and I have talked about this many times, and I constantly pray (and begin research projects) to be prepared. I feel so passionately about this it’s hard sometimes to remain neutral when a friend or relative begins proselytizing about their own child’s school situation (or offering to help us out by sharing something from that lovely program.)

This might rankle some because I am working so hard not to do the same. Not that I yet have any “miracles” to offer, just that I refrain from sharing a list of our reasons to stay home that will inevitably sound like attack on their parental skills/love for letting their own child(ren) go off.

Disclaimer of course: I know public school is the only (or even perhaps right) option for some people. I think I am more frustrated by the unexamined expectation that *this is just what you do with your kids.*

Jay and I feel a near-moral obligation to keep our kids home, and so we (at least, I) feel frustrated by the emphasis of things (even as benign as Sesame Street) on going away to school and the hype of large crowds *just your own age* (and little adult supervision or interaction).

The more I research, the more I feel sure this is what we must do, and the more I *wish* I were the organizationally-gifted type.

(I chose to copy this over here because I just created a “homeschooling” category and waned to keep the topic grouped.)

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Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow!

Our living room has returned to its proper place (sans bookcase). And we’re still trying to figure out where the tape deck, etc. will go in our new arrangement, but the girls room is back to its normal level of stuff, and I’m suddenly energized.

Lara (from church) says her coping mechanism is just to tell herself it will never get any better, and this is the environment she must learn to function in. I don’t know if I could do that, but I must say, having now a genuine possibility for order has increased my desire to create it.

I almost wish we didn’t have the morning booked with library story-time, etc. I just want to go for it!

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First Reading Lesson

I did lesson one in the Distar book with Natasha tonight. I think she wasn’t really very interested, but the premium mama-time was too valuable to pass-up.

I saw right away the difficulty resulting from of teaching letters before sounds (something the introduction expounds on, eloquently, though I honestly don’t know how to avoid it: “You, there, Grandma! Quit telling the girl her alphabet!” I mean, really!)

Natasha made both the mistakes the introduction describes: wanting to say letter names rather than sounds, and (at one point) exclaiming, “M! That starts with mouse!”

What ended up working well was describing names, as opposed to the sounds they make. I used kitty as an example: “Its name is cat, but it says ‘meow.’ Yes, this is an ’em,’ but is says ‘mmmmm,’ and that’s what we’re using right now.” The analogy seemed to work for her, but the “say it fast” game didn’t go smoothly at first.

I think we’ll repeat lesson 1 before we go on to lesson 2. Tomorrow, I hope. She almost seemed to get the idea of things toward the end, but I didn’t want to hammer things into the ground on our first day.

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Mobile Boy

Elisha is definitely crawling now, knee and hand, even on the new floor. Good time to have the floor clear enough to keep clean.

If I haven’t said so already, he has left the baby-look behind and is taking on an alert, cheerful personality that is written all over his maturing features.

He’s also taking solids with gusto. I’m hoping we’ll have the table in by tomorrow, and with it his eating seat. So far we’ve been sitting on the floor together, which only works as long as he isn’t distracted. Thankful for the increased taking of solids though– his night-waking has been just killing me.

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A dream

Natasha was telling me this morning about her dreams, and I managed to record this much:

“I had a dream about you got married in that big dress. It was pretty pretty. And I was not there, and Melody was not there. Only Dad was there.”

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Looking for Answers

Currently Reading
Discover Your Child’s DQ Factor: The Discipline Quotient System
By Greg Cynaumon
see related

I bought this book (among others) when we had our foster boy.

I returned to it this week when I began to see my children and myself in my memories of its stories (“My kid just won’t stop X no matter what I try.”)

The main problem is that I think I know exactly what is needed (more one-on-one cuddle/reading/interaction time mainly) and am too stretched by our current living situation to do more than what I am. So my present methodology seems limited to putting out the occasional fire. Or trying to. Or ignoring it.

*sigh*

I have my kitchen back, but there is still very little peace in this place. Sleep schedules are skewed, and tension is higher than normal from the tiredness and lack of order.

If anything this experience has solidified my insistence that we will never build our own house. If we ever feel the need for that much “custom,” someone else will make it and have a *deadline.* And we will not live there before it is done.

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Night-time Prayers

Thank you, God, as this day ends
For my family and my friends.
Taking time to sit and pray,
Thank you God for this great day.

This little prayer, followed by some episode-specific praise, comes at the end of each Boz story. The girls have been watching their Boz DVDs back to back for a couple days, now.

Tonight Natasha sat up in bed with her fingers interlaced and said, “I’m going to pray tonight.”

That was just the coolest to me. I thought to myself, “This is why you buy Christian movies: to let the kids see the type of “normal” you want them to internalize.”

This self-initiation was mostly so exciting because we’re about as consistent with bedtime prayers as we are with bedtime teeth-brushing. Neither is every night.
It wasn’t so much the repeating of the formula that was neat to me (though that was sweet in its own way) but the practice of adding something unique of their own at the end.

Natasha’s latest (as I wrote that last line): “Thank you for rocks and neat toys to play with.”

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Natasha is Four!

Well, we didn’t get around to making a cake today, like we’d planned, but now think I’d like to do a cat cake (the kind you make with two 9″-rounds), so I’m glad we didn’t make it yet.

We aren’t having a party until Sunday (if that– depends on the flooring, and we still haven’t invited anyone but Mom and Dad. The floor situation has made the atmosphere here just generally stressful.) but we’ll probably just make cupcakes for that, and use whatever left-over cake we have.

I wanted to do something special on her birthday. We were going to start reading, but she was up late last night, and wanted to nap, so we put that off for a day too.

Mom and Dad called at bedtime to sing “Happy Birthday” to Natasha. She wasn’t sure how to respond, really, but passed-on a coached “thank you” quite smoothly. Then Mom asked her how it felt to be four, and whether she was growing.

“I been trying to,” she answered seriously, “but my skin won’t grow.”

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See what happens when you teach children new words?

They use them.

“Melody needs to lift up her countenance,” Natasha said matter-of-factly this morning.
Melody’s current M.O. is to dissolve in cries and screams when she’s scolded for misbehavior. It’s gotten real old really fast.

~~~

I made sure I used the same phrase on Natasha the next time I had occasion to. I don’t want her to think she’s… better than her sister, as if Melody needs to do something she (Natasha) doesn’t.