I was just recently reviewing what having Maestro (and, earlier, Kricket) has taught (or allowed me to teach) my kids.

• Having two resilient and transparent self-advocaters has shown the girls a few things.
  • Gentleness
  • Non-violent (and non-screaming) self advocating.
    • Both M and K will/would put up with as much as they wanted, and then leave.
    • Maestro had started batting them away (no claws), if their attention is unwanted, and with some coaching they’ve learned to be sensitive to that.
  • They’ve learned to look for body language– to be observers before they act (we’re working on this in many areas, this is just one more place of reinforcement.
  • Respect
    • Everybody should be able to chose if they feel like playing or not
    • everyone has time when they want more space or want to be alone

This has brought home to me the value of pets with any age of children, but now, coming up on the second time in two years, it’s bringing up another lesson that’s harder for me to decide how to present.

That is, getting rid of the animal.

Kricket served a felt-need in the 5-months we had her, and especially the month Jay was out of the country she was a great comfort to me.

But after he returned home, and she continued to grow, and have energy build-ups, and no outlet, and… generally, make it plain she didn’t fit our family any more, I realized that the reason I had wanted her wasn’t a valid one, and never would happen in this family like it had when I was growing up.

So there was this sense of loss, and praying for the right home for Kricket, and being thankful God provided that.

After she left, we found Maestro, who has been the ideal cat (half-dog, we call him). Only in the last… chunk of time, we’re not sure when it started, he has become more wild and aggressive.

It’s no longer about self-advocating. In the last year the girls have learned to treat him properly, and only push him around when he’s taking up too much room on their beds (he nearly worked Natasha out, a couple of times).

Today it came to a head because two kids got scratched: Elisha by accident and Melody on purpose.

~

When I started talking about getting a dog in the spring, I was sure I wanted to keep Maestro too. He was a good cat, and I didn’t want to be sending a message of “disposabilty” about animals– that you just dump or rotate them when you’re ready for something new. But today I’m leaning more towards thinking this is a safety issue. And Melody has been getting “abuse” for a while now.

I have also talked to a couple cat people, and they reluctantly agree with me.

If there is a lesson the kids can learn from pets going, it would be that pets are different than people. That we value them and care for them, but ultimately people (my children) are more important, and their needs must come first.

I wonder if there’s a way to specifically communicate that.