I’ve begun to understand why those who have experienced a loss are told to not make any major decisions for X-amount of time. It’s only natural that one will not be thinking clearly for a time.

For example (this is a scenario we’ve talked about but placed it far down the road), I was imagining starting to look for property out-of-town, that we could buy, and build a totally different lifestyle than we have now (we’ve talked about someday getting a milk-goat and a couple of chickens for family use).

It’s ridiculous, of course. I’m just keeping my head above water as it is, and there’s no way I would enjoy moving and/or taking on new responsibilities at this time. But I realized that the reason I wanted this was to have a change I was in control of; because right now I am looking at a change I have no control over at all.