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You’d Think We’d Know By Now

And in our own defense, when we’re not sleep-deprived we do remember.

We were at a wedding reception tonight where the main course was pulled-pork. We put the sandwiches together ourselves at a buffet-style table where there was also coleslaw to put on top of the meat. All this was very new to me.

Really, I was doing my best not to feel too self-conscious building three sandwiches on two plates, and not hold-up the line too much.

I reconvened with Jay and the kids and almost at once he had to get up for a new sandwich because the coleslaw had raw carrots in it. I know he’s allergic to those, but there was his sandwich.

After Jay’s run back through the line, he returned with a handful a cherry chocolate kisses and unwrapped one. “Here’s dessert,” he said, starting to put it in my mouth. I managed to drop it before it touched my tongue and hastily reminded an annoyed-looking Jay that I can’t stand the cherry flavor used in candies.

He let it go that easily, and said, “You’d think I’d remember by now.” I pointed out that I’d just made the mistake with he carrots, so it wasn’t like he was alone.

And that is why I call weariness as our defense. We’re really zonked right now, and it really explains everything.

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Gotta love what they take away…

We read the story of Adam and Eve last week from the girls’ bible.

I read the part about Eve’s creation and reminded the girls what ribs are (Natasha’s favorite book for a while was the Eyewitness Skeleton book, so that pleased her).

Incidentally, I loved that, since I don’t see any reason to encourage the idea (perpetuated by the Halloween marketers) that skeletons are something to be afraid of. I think they are marvelously designed, and it’s good to appreciate that.

Anyway, the girls were talking on their phones to each other, playacting being other people, when this exchange took place and I had to drop everything and write it down.

M: How are you doing today?
N: Not so good. God just took a rib out of me to make a woman.
M: Oh my.
N: Yes. And When I woke up, it was awful! I went to feel my bone and it wasn’t there– it was all mushy.

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Attachment is not sufficiency.

When Elisha was approaching a year I had this exchange with Nate V while we were getting ready to leave the church.

Me: It is so awesome to watch Elisha develop an attachment to his daddy. He’ll be lunging and calling for Jay as soon as he walks in the door. It’s so nice for me now that Elisha finds Daddy desirable.

Nate (serious and smiling at the same time): But, then, desirability is not sufficiency. When he wants Mama, only Mama will do.

(He has a son 6-months older than mine.)

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How do we know?

And does it matter?

Melody came to her doorway (opposite mine) tonight and said, “Mommy, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

This whole time (you know, a whole week) I’ve been struggling with how to properly encourage Natasha for her choice without making it look… too good, so Melody wouldn’t just be a little mimic. I really thought I did pretty well, so I wasn’t expecting mimicking behavior.

I felt a little stunned (you might have thought she said “Mom, I’m pregnant,” I felt caught so off-guard). Not wanting to discourage her, but wanting to know more, I asked, “How did you do that?”

“In bed,” she said matter-of-factly.

I sent her back to bed with a smile and hug, not sure what to think. Natasha returned from bathroom a trip a bit after, and I heard Melody say, “Natasha, I asked Jesus into my heart.”

“That’s great!” Natasha responded enthusiastically. Then I heard her pray.

“Dear Jesus, thank you that Melody asked Jesus into her heart!”

Now, that would have been a natural place to start, I thought. I went into the room, not sure I’d heard right.

“Did you say something, Natasha?”

“No, I was just prayin’.” She looked a little bashful but was smiling so big.

Then Melody asked “Can you pray with me, Mommy, to ask Jesus in my heart?”

So I prayed with her– or started to– the repeat-after-me bit, and she took off with her own way of praying (and looked at me funny when I said the bit about obeying).

I lay everyone back down again and went to talk to Jay about it. I asked, “How do we know this is real? Does it matter?”

He said “I really don’t think it does. Treat it as real, and work form there.”

And, I guess he’s right. God knows their hearts, and I don’t have a reason to doubt or discourage her. It’s an ineffable feeling of relief to see both my girls’ hearts “safe home.” I never expected I’d feel this way.

It’s like that 20-lbs I lose every evening when Jay comes home and lifts Elisha off my back. That mixed with a little vertigo and the feeling of being outside right after it’s rained. I don’t know. I felt a bit like this after Natasha last week, and maybe it’s doubled now…

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It is nice to know the stories we read together can now be more for them than just stories. That they can have the same significance for both girls.

I’ve felt a difference between the girls’ listening this past week, and wonder if Melody will hear differently in the morning.

Actually, she was more intrigued tonight than she’s been in the previous week, so… maybe God was already working on that part of her heart. And she was asking questions about Great-grandma and heaven after bible time.

Not like Natasha did, so I didn’t really think anything of it at the time… but it really seems like she was doing some level of processing this evening.

It makes me think of when I felt Elisha move at something like 3-months gestation.

I didn’t think before I felt him that it was physically possible, but when it happened I knew it was real. I guess my mind is growing into that place with Melody, thinking about the progression of the evening.

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If you take any prayer-requests away from this reading, please pray that both these two new babies would be “rooted and established in love,” and be eager to grow– in their love of Scripture, in prayer and in obedience.

Pray especially for Melody to learn self-control, as lately she’s been having a hard time controlling her reactions to things (just and unjust).

And pray for my faith too, that I can trust that God will use these young confessions of faith, and allow them to spur one another on as they continue to grow on very parallel tracks.

Thanks for reading (and praying).

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About Feeding…

One of the largest concerns in my mind after Natasha made her decision for Christ was how to feed her. And then, how did I know it was real?

I poked around on-line and made some calls (knowing I’ve seen a very competent “arrival kit” for adult new believers I hoped there might be something I could use with my 4-year-old). Not easily finding something, my mind went next (I’m sorry! It’s been trained!) to “Maybe that means I should write something myself…”

Then, as my mind was there, I began to wonder how I could know if Natasha knew what she was doing (after all, 4 is awfully young…). I didn’t want my clumsy efforts to guinea-pig her and cool her interest in things of the faith.

God graciously encouraged my heart, though.

  • Natasha didn’t want to call and tell anyone (e.g. grandparents), which was what made me wonder in the first place, but when I was on the phone she wanted me to tell them.
  • She’s had an increased appetite for the Word (tell me that isn’t inspiring), wanting the real thing.

I grabbed the picture-bible because it was near-by and I was nursing the baby, but she said, “No, Mama, I don’t want the picture one, I want mine.” “The one with just words?” “Yes.” And she went and got it.

  • She’s been willing to pray “publicly” for the first time (volunteering to pray over dinner tonight)
  • And she told grandma about her decision as soon as she saw her.

So I was encouraged. And I did find a couple picture books that bring up concepts I wanted her to think about (because I expect she’ll still want picture books at her age).

The break-through for my first concern came when a church secretary called me back and said none of the right people were around to ask the curriculum question of.

Then she pointed out that with her three daughters (all grown, and all raising their children in the Faith) she had just continued with the same tack as before, reading bible stories, talking about the things of faith. The difference being that after a decision for Christ those talks have more meaning for the child.

This was such a wonderfully simple truth and I had never seen it this way. It lifted my concern (that I believe most young parents have) about how to feed my baby “right” on my own.

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In all the bible stories we’ve read since Wednesday night, I’ve been able to bring up questions about our response to God and how He interacted with the people in the stories.

As a storyteller, the idea of staying with the stories themselves is so freeing. I don’t need to find a way to introduce a “simplified” Romans or Galatians to my 4-year-old. There is plenty of time for that later. For now I can be thankful for the many truths that God has provided in the stories he gave us.

From Balaam and we’ve already filled-in some gaps I had woken concerned about the morning after. God is faithful, and will always make provision for the right thing at the right time.

In the same way that I can say, “No, we’re not reading about Judah and Tamar,” knowing it’s not age-appropriate, I can wait on many other things as well.

“Jesus loves me, this I know,” is a beginning that has confounded scholars and kept them busy long enough to let my daughter grow ready for other eternal truths.

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We’re so Cute…

Jay and I were sharing a hug and kiss just inside our room as our girls ran past, down the hallway.

Natasha  (4 years old) stopped in her tracks with a soft, “Awww,” and a wispered, “Come’ere” to her little sister.

We held each other a little longer without looking at them, me silently fighting the giggles, so I’m not sure who made the blissful little sigh before they moved on.

I’ve aways  felt children like to see their parents happy together.   This was a fun reminder.

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A New Birthday

Natasha asked Jesus into her heart today.

The conversation started while we were making pitas for dinner. She was talking about heaven, how she wanted to go there, and how she’d see Great-grandma there, “and meet Grandma Teena’s daddy.”

I asked her how she could get to heaven. “Ask Jesus into my heart.” (This is the answer to a question the 4 & 5s are asked each week in Sunday school.)

“Do you want to ask Jesus into your heart?”

She paused, like she was thinking about it. “Yes,” she said. “Well, when it’s dark.”

“You want to wait until bedtime?”

“Yes. I want Jesus to come and die in my heart.”

“Jesus is done dying,” I explained. “He only had to do that once. If you invite Jesus he comes to live in your heart.”

(I’ve been thankful I’ve not yet had to explain how this works. So far the metaphor has just worked for her.)

She seemed to be thinking about this. “I want to go to heaven,” she said. “But I’ll need some grown-ups.”

“You won’t need grown-ups in heaven,” I said. “You’ll have Jesus.” She still looked thoughtful, then brightened.

“Oh! I’ll have great-grandma! She’ll be my grown-up!”

We talked about heaven for a while, and Natasha clarified she didn’t want to go right away– that she wanted to wait until she was “great big and grown-up. Like you, Mommy.”

After regular bedtime stories we read “TheLost Son” out of her NIrV (not planned, particularly, she saw the painting/illustration and asked for the story).

Some comprehension questions are after the passage, and those seemed to prompt her memory. She said again she wanted Jesus to come in her heart.

I asked if she wanted to pray herself or repeat after me, and she said she wanted to repeat, so we did that. When we were done I prayed for her, then asked if she wanted to pray herself.

I wish I better remember what she said, but it’s the first thing I can remember her praying that sounded like it was all hers (up till now I’ve heard her say mostly things with identifiable sources).

It was only two lines and very sweet and tender, something like, “Thank you for having heaven for me.”

When Jay came in for bedtime hugs Natasha told him that she’d invited Jesus into her heart.

I honestly feel this surreal sense of having a new baby in the house.

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Training some more

Shadow started retrieving this afternoon.

She progressed from simply chasing a ball (which she wasn’t doing three days ago) to picking it up, to carrying it around, and eventually to bringing it back near me (to me is a little more precise than she’s yet mastered).

Have I mentioned Elisha can throw now? About a foot. It’s adorable. It makes him feel very grown-up, especially when he’s playing with Daddy.

We were playing in the front yard and Shadow came and lay between us. She kept leaning over to pick up the ball after he threw it, and he’d crawl to her (I swear he was exasperated with her: That’s not for you.) and take it out of her mouth.

I was right there the whole time and was impressed with them both, his fearlessness (purposeful but not mean) and her compliance.

At one point I threw a ball across the yard and Shadow just stayed panting in the shade. Elisha looked from me, to the dog, to the ball and booked over to get the ball himself. He was almost there when Shadow seemed to realize he was serious and trotted off after him.

He sat up and looked at her when she came even with him, then turned his back and collected the ball he was after. Shadow went over and picked up a different ball nearby.

In all this Shadow has never tried to challenge Elisha’s “authority” and is gaining great points of confidence from me.

She’s also seeming like more fun as she’s becoming interactive and available more more than snuggles or belly rubs.

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Settling In

Well, it’s been nearly a week and Shadow is finding a rhythm.

She has perked up a bit and shown more interest in exercise and the world around her. She’s also begun playing with her toys– mouthing some rings and tossing a soft ball around. No “serious” chewing since I gave her the knuckle bone, but she is showing a penchant for used tissue, which was something Tilly used to do that always grossed Jay out.

I am very thankful for whatever work her last home did in kennel-training her.

I put her in when I got to bed or when I leave the house for a couple hours. She settles right down, and even when I’m up in the night with the baby she generally figures out this doesn’t involve her and she doesn’t beg to get out.

Posted in Dog
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Still Getting Old…

Jay expressed concern about his fitness level while he was gone, highlighting in particular the hip that seemed inflamed the morning after a brisk, 2-hour walk.

I pitied him, but attributed it (in part, at least) to his sedentary job. Mine keeps me moving enough I shouldn’t run into that stiffness problem myself.

Ha.

Two days ago I walked Shadow on my own, wearing Elisha. I think I was hoping the walk would put him to sleep. It didn’t.

I woke yesterday morning with my right hip stiff and sore. I attributed this to waking faster than before with the extra 20-pounds on my back.

Monday night, when I got home, both my calves felt pretty tight. I was reminded I aught to strech before every exercise at my age. Even a simple walk.

But then on a day like yesterday most of me feels pretty tight and uncomfortable.

Jay asked for the first time post-Shadow if this was really the right time to have a dog, and I, who felt the dog might have been the only bright spot in my day (it was Jay, not me, who found the partially-chewed roll of USPS stamps) said today was not a good day to make that evaluation.

So yesterday was my fourth day in a row to get out on a walk. Some kind of record, it feels like. Shadow is gaining confidence next to the loud expressway, and has learned to ignore passing bicyclists.

Her energy-level seems to be picking up too, and I wonder if it’s her new, “high-quality” food or the regular outlet for energy that’s perking her up.

I was initially wondering if she’d ever be interested in jogging (I think she is now) and now I’m wondering how she might do with a bike– though that would be later in the summer when we know each other better.

Whatever’s causing it she’s definitely becoming more interested in moving, and I may end up getting that no-pull walking harness soon, since she’s becoming less responsive (or, maybe “selectively responsive”) to her collar on these evening walks.

Posted in Dog