Now That’s a Nice Curriculum

We went to a Christmas party tonight, where we got to watch the pod race from the Star Wars (I) movie in the movie room: widescreen, 3D TV with surround sound speakers making it impossible to hear anything else.

Elisha wandered in partway through and couldn’t move for watching (I scooped him up and brought him to my lap on the couch).

On the way home Jay made a comment about reminding himself not to be jealous; that he had plenty of nice things that he liked, and he just chose to spend his money differently.

From the backseat Natasha piped with a surety that convinced me she’d picked it up at Sunday School: “Some things God chooses not to give us and we should be content with what we have.”

Jay didn’t hear her and asked Natasha to repeat herself, which she did, word-for-word, adding shyly, “I memorized it from my science book.”

Myers-Briggs Personality Theory, phase three: Preferences and Processes

So first we looked at the terminology for M-B observations, then after ending up with 16 combinations we looked at how they subgroup into four distinct quadrants.

In preparation for phase three, I’ll review/rephrase a bit of P/J explanation.

My mom has this great line that is used to explain just about every confusing thing people do:

Your perception is your reality.

How you see the world shapes who you are.  And you can’t convince someone they’re not seeing something they see.

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Myers-Briggs, phase two: 4 Groups

So a while back I started talking about M-B and how it works.

Phase two is taking the spread of 16 types (2 x 2 x 2 x 2 options works out to 16 distinct combinations) and dividing them into subgroups in order to make generalizations and shortcuts.

Yes, this might be called creating stereotypes, but I prefer to think of them as jumping-off places.  A common language (again) that allows for a starting point from which to look at individual variation.

Convention in M-B discussions does this dividing primarily by combining two letters and describing the characteristics common to types sharing that pair of traits:

  • SJ
  • SP
  • NF
  • NT

These groups conform roughly (depending on whom you read) to the series of divisions throughout history where prominent thinkers also divided humanity into four groups in order to make generalizations.

The most common (or popular?) one when I was in school was an indirect descendant of the “humors” theory using the original Greek terms Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic.  Thankfully with a broader application and a more complex set of assumptions than personality being caused by an “excess of certain fluids in the body.” (Which was the original explanation.)

The four M-B groups have also been named by various writers and researchers

  • Stabilizers (aka Guardians or SJs)
  • Innovators (aka Artisans or SPs)
  • Catalysts (aka Idealists or NFs)
  • Theorists (aka Rationals or NTs)

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So Much to Process

Yesterday Melody had her first dentist appointment (looked in her mouth a week or so ago and could see cavities).

Turns out she’s got a gobzillion cavities, and the dentist looks at me and asks, “Has she been brushing twice a day for two minutes each time?”  And I felt like saying something totally rude about how he shouldn’t assume everyone has heard those standards, and I’m not an idiot, are you taking a survey over how many people who follow the standards still get cavities?

Maybe I would have felt guilty-er if I hadn’t just had a conversation a week ago with a mom who does hyper-regulate her kids’ teeth hygiene and was crushed that her 8-year-old has cavities despite her efforts.

Anyway, they give me a quote for half her mouth (they schedule one side at a time because they don’t expect a kid to sit through the whole procedure at once) and blow off my questions/distaste for metal fillings.  “[Tooth-colored fillings] are more expensive” was all they’d say to me.

The friend who referred me had warned me about the negitive response the workers gave when asked about health issues, so I tried to make it about aesthetics (hey, this should be solid ground, I thought), and still felt invalidated.

I guess I should have taken that story as a reason not to go, but I wanted to get Melody checked and here was somebody known by somebody.  Anyway, after looking at the estimate (pushing $2000.  For one-half of her mouth. BLEW my mind) I told Jay, “I am totally calling around for prices.”

And I only had the energy to call 3 offices, but that was enough to establish that we visited an expensiver place (annoyed me) and that there are providers that are already rejecting the metal fillings themselves, so I don’t have to but heads with an establishment.

So I have to finish calling around tomorrow; one more place to meet Jay’s request of four new offices, and one call-back to compare oranges with oranges.

I’m totally getting the impression that this isn’t playing by the rules (going to place A then hijacking the x-rays and exam to have the work done elsewhere).  If office A hadn’t charged plenty for the initial exam I might feel more compunction about changing, but I’ve given the worker his due.

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Quick and Easy Food (Gluten Free)

To begin with, I have to say pretty much anything you *know* how to make is going to be faster than even a “quick” new recipe.  The trick is deciding what you’re willing to learn to make it a quick meal time after next.

Just about the easiest quickmeal:

  • Broiled chicken thighs.

Starting with fresh boneless, skinless chicken thighs (I get mine at Sam’s Club– a huge flat and cook them all in a day or two; freezing the extras after they’re cooked), lay out as many will fit flat in a glass baking dish.

Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other favorite seasonings (I mix garlic powder, chili powder and onion powder with a little ground ginger and sprinkle it on top of the s & p)

Put this under the broiler for 15-20 minutes (it shouldn’t look pink any more.  If it’s scorched your heat was too intense or your pan too close) then turn over, season the new side-up and repeat.  A thermometer in the thickest part of the meat should read at least 165°.

While that’s cooking you can throw together a salad.

  • My favorite:

Baby spinach + chopped fruit of choice (I usually do canned pears) + nuts of choice (I chop crunchy walnuts).  I used to add crumbled feta before I gave up dairy.  All very good.

  • Another fun salad:

Chopped celery, walnuts, apple* (with the skin still on) and romaine (that would be all ingredients chopped/cut/torn to the preferred size) tossed with sweet/savory dressing:

1 Tablespoon apple cider vinegar
2 Tablespoons maple syrup
1 Tablespoon olive oil
½ Tablespoon Dijon mustard
½ teaspoon kosher salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

If you’re not avoiding dairy, nachos are always fast:

Spread chips on a cookie sheet, cover with shredded cheese, sprinkle with a spice mixture like I mentioned for the chicken thighs earlier.  Put them under the broiler for 1-2 minutes (depends on how hot/close your heat source is) and lunch is ready.

Precooked meat, canned beans (drained and risced), and various nacho-y veggies all combine well with this option.

  • A box of gluten-free cereal has been our saving grace more than once.
  • Fresh or dried fruits, though I usually try to combine them with a protein like nuts, cheese or a roll of sandwich meat.
  • Hot cereal: GF oatmeal, cream of rice or “mighty tasty” with jam, maple syrup, or frozen fruit and nuts
  • “Puffy pancake” (AKA: dutch baby) –family-meal sized:

Heat oven to 400°. In each of two 9×13 baking pans melt 2 oz (1/4 cup) butter or coconut oil– by putting them in the warming oven.  While that’s going on combine:

12 eggs
3 cups milk (I use homemade nutmilk)
15 oz GF flour blend
1½ teaspoon gaur gum

Divide between the greased pans once the oil is liquid.

Cook in the 400° oven for 20 minutes.  Without opening the oven, reduce heat to 350° and cook 15-20 minutes more.  Pancake is done when it puffs up and the center no longer looks shiny.  If your baking pan is clear, you’ll also be able to see the edges are golden and crispy.

This is a good example of my flexible definition of “fast”. It doesn’t require a lot of thought or coordination, and it’s ready in less than an hour.  That’s a pretty functional definition of my sort of quick.

Hope that’s useful to somebody.  I’ll think about it some more and keep making lists as I think of things.

*To keep apples or pears from turning brown, keep a bowl of water next to the cutting board.  Before you begin chopping add a tablespoon of lemon juice to the water. (If you don’t like the taste you can buy vitamin-C/citric acid powder from the store and add a teaspoon per gallon of water.)  Put your fruit into the water as you cut it, and the browning will be seriously curtailed.

Bonus idea: make a full-sized batch of my white chili recipe and freeze the (cooled) leftovers flat in ziplock freezer bags.  Even if you forget to take it out ahead of time, you should be able to thaw it fairly quick in a sink of cool water, then all it needs it heating up.

Just remember to *label* anything you put in the freezer: Date and contents. You’ll remind yourself to use the older stuff first, and won’t forget what it is.

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The Other Difficulty With Differences

I outlined my basic observation of differences here.

Another angle is that by doing things differently we begin to measure personal success in terms of success of the model we employ.

For example some parents (usually of only one child), directly attribute their child’s good behavior to their exceptional parenting skills.

This could be accurate, or it could be self-delusion.  I tend to take their gushing advice with a grain of salt, wary of such a small sample size.

Just yesterday I was talking with another mom about homeschooling and we were comparing methods (not competing, just finding out. She’s literature-based; I do half our subjects with workbooks and the other half orally).  I felt a warm, cozy comfort at our easy conversation, how we both tied our choices to our personalities and lifestyles, rather than the inherint *rightness* of the method itself.

I said so to her, saying how thankful I am to have several years “this way” behind me now, so I can compare a  track long-enough to let me see both when and how my method really works and when it doesn’t.  But how, over all, it averages out as effective.

My biggest discomfort in these “differences” interactions (whether it’s about parenting or schooling) is when someone attributes to the method what could just as easily be individual variation.  For “failures” or “successes.”

Natasha was reading by age five.  Melody, in the same environment, was still slogging through her phonics workbook at age six.  Some people asked if we were doing the right thing. If we were using the right curriculum.  And I did compare it to some other options, but felt nothing offered more than what we were using already.

Now seven, and nearly finished with those questioned phonics workbooks, Melody has a *solid* foundation that she builds on every day.  She has developed independent study skills, problem-solving skills (we’re still working on focus and speed, but we’ve got time), and I couldn’t be more pleased with the progress she’s made.

~ ~ ~

There is so much individual variation between children that I really think once you have something solid (by any objective standard you can measure), as long as it’s not actually making life more complicated (we had one of those, too), it’s a matter of persevering.

Elisha has begun the same series of workbooks– despite my intent to hold him back one more year– and I can already see that he, like Melody a year ago, isn’t quite clicking with it.

~ ~ ~

I haven’t decided if I’ll do an enforced hold until he’s older (my original plan) or keep working intensively with him.  One of the reasons I love the 50% workbooks approach is that it allows me to work independently too.

The books we use are so gradually advancing that the kids can frequently “self teach,” which is really important to me.  Not because I want to keep them out of my hair (they wouldn’t be homeschooled if that was important to me), but because I se my life as been one long string of self-teaching.

I consider it one of the most-valuable life skills they can learn, so I’m thankful to have found texts that reenforce this value of mine.

~ ~ ~

One of the reasons studying personality has been so important to me is how it allows me incorporate that understanding of equality into interactions where differences could start to look like mistakes. Like someone “getting it wrong.”

What I want to remember, what I want to extend grace over, is that correct can be a lot-broader of a path than I choose to walk myself.

Gluten Free and Dairy Free

So now I’m trying another layer of cooking-challenge.

Not to make my life more complicated.  Please don’t even joke about that.

I have reason to believe it will improve my health.  So I’m making trial of it.

Back a year and a half ago, when I dove into GF cooking in earnest, I was told to cut dairy as well, but both beginnings was to much of a burden. Now that I’ve (somewhat) mastered cooking gluten free, I feel I have the margin to add dairy free.

My blog-hunt has been for recipes that avoid milk without going “all the way” vegan by cutting all the eggs, which we have a bunch of and I want to include.

Here’s what I’ve got so far

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Myers-Briggs and Why it Matters

I’ve referenced M-B a load of times in conversations since March, and figured it was worth while to take a moment to say why. As well as update those who’ve fallen through the cracks.

That is to say, anyone who’s missed out on my jiffy-summaries in real life.

To begin with, I really like what Camile had to say about this being a valuable exercise. It’s not just splitting hairs and certainly not setting up a hierarchy.

But I have one huge reason why I love the framing power of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

The #1 Reason:

It is a vocabulary.

Language is the best way ever discovered of imposing order on reality.  And by having this vocabulary (especially when having it as a shared vocabulary) people can save so. much. time– and emotional angst– that can be better spent on real things, rather than misunderstandings.

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White Chili

This is one of my *favorite* meals.

It makes both a nice white chili that you can “fancy up” with any veggies (I like to mix in yellow tomatoes and yellow peppers) or dairy (sour cream, cheese) you want to add, and I’ll also use it for “instant” taco salad, pouring a cup over a bowl of greens and corn chips.

I swear the kids will learn to eat it someday, just on continual exposure.

I make this “huge” in my 8-quart pot. Starting out you might be more comfortable cutting this in half.

  • 2 lbs chopped chicken (~1-inch chunks)
  • 1 large diced onion
  • 1½ t garlic powder (or diced garlic cloves to taste: 2-3 cloves)

Saute chicken, onion and garlic till chicken is cooked and onion is soft (if using chicken thighs the existing fat is enough, otherwise you’ll need to add a tablespoon of butter or olive oil to saute in).

Add the remaining ingredients:

  • 1 quart chicken broth (the amount is negotiable.  I use 1-qt home canned, which is probably closer to 3½ cups)
  • 4 cans white beans (I use 2 Qt-jar home canned– again, weight will vary, but I’m satisfied with the volume) rinsed and drained
  • 2 7oz cans diced green chilies
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 2 teaspoons oregano
  • 1 teaspoon pepper
  • ½ teaspoon cumin
  • ½ teaspoon cayenne (optional, and I reduce or leave out for the kids)

Simmer uncovered for 30 minutes.

Remove from heat. Mix in 1-2 cups sour cream (or plain yogurt) if desired.

Simple-simple and sooo good.

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VICTORY!

Two nights ago we had one of those moments that, as parents, you wonder if they’ll ever come.

On Monday night all three children ate rabbit for dinner. Two of them requested more quinoa, and the one who refused quinoa ate double helpings of the spinach/pear/feta salad.

For dessert they all ate double helpings of spice-cake muffins sprinkled with powdered sugar, requesting the leftovers for breakfast; and those were held together with broccoli and carrot purees.

This came after a pancake victory last week where a buckwheat-heavy recipe was eagerly consumed and declared *delicious* by the entire family (when a year ago buckwheat was too strong for anybody but me).

It’s times like these when I feel a huge relief: we really are changing, growing, transforming our tastes and habits.

We may be slow, but persistence really seems to mean something in real life.

 

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